I made the mistake of going downtown today on my lunch break to get a new bus pass. Wow, was THAT a mistake.

Downtown is where they keep all the crazy people.

While I was waiting for the bus on the way back to work, I was accosted by two of the local, less-than-sane denizens of the downtown area. One was a rather tall man, who was shouting at the top of his lungs about how "God made all of us equal, to live here equally, even the insane people like me!" Uh. Yeah. Hoo-kay then.

So, once I managed to get out of the way of this guy, I was met by nutball #2... a small, middle-aged woman who was apparently a psychotic cheerleader. She couldn't have even been five feet, because I remember not seeing her until she jumped up in the air. She was screaming things incoherently in what I assume was Filipino and clapping in rhythm and...

... how, you ask? Like this.

"YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!!!" *clap* *clap* *clapclapclap* *jump* *spin* "YAYAYA!!!"

So, like I was saying... cheerleader. However, she apparently knew just enough English to convey the following messages to me:


"Jesus loves you - you belong to him."

and

"If you do not shave that beard, you will burn in hell."


I ain't shaving, lady. I like my beard, and no freakball cheerleading midget evangelist is telling me otherwise. Besides, my wife can't even get me to shave.

Wow. Downtown is SO bizarre, but then again I am a moron magnet.

Never a dull moment.