I was cooking dinner last night, and had a bit of a run-in with a mushroom. In the course of making garlic chicken, one must slice mushrooms until they're, well, sliced. Everything was going fine, the cooking was under control, and dinner was coming along nicely.

Until a mushroom jumped up, grabbed the knife from my hands, and stabbed me in the thumb with it. I swear to god, that's what happened. It attacked me.

In no way, shape, or form did I "accidentally" cut my thumb while slicing the mushrooms - it was totally and completely a sneaky, underhanded attack by inanimate fungus.

But it was inanimate fungus with a knife.

Needless to say, after the bleeding slowed down a little bit, the proper authorities were notified (that being: Jen), and the wound was bandaged, I proceeded to turn that bastard mushroom into paste.

Regardless of this blatant attempt on my thumb's life, I stopped by the ER this morning to make sure I didn't need a stitch or two (it was pretty deep of a cut, right next to the top of the fingernail). Apparently, it's nothing that a week, a bandage, and some NeoSporin won't take care of... as it was explained to me, though, wounds on a fingertip will bleed like a sieve, and make the injury seem a lot worse than it actually is. They told me to come back if it starts to swell or discolor, but they think it's just a run-of-the-mill nasty cut.

Stupid mushrooms.