Sunday

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"I have to make myself up every day." - Spalding Gray
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Today is the 10th anniversary of the airline crashes into the Twin Towers in New York City, the crash into the Pentagon, and the crash of Flight 93 into a field in Pennsylvania.
Over 2,000 people died and maybe more, I do not remember. All week the television stations have been airing the events that have happened. Shows on the kids of 9/11 from where they were on the day and now ten years later, who they are. The people lost and the people saved. It is a sad moment in time. I equate this to when Japan bombed Pearl Harbor. There have been made statements of how the people of the United States banded together to aid the war effort. This time around the people were left out of the equation. All we could do and can do is support the people who were directly affected by this catastrophic event. I will burn my candle today in remembrance.

Tonight is the height of the full moon since it will reach its potential at 2:27 a.m. tomorrow. I have no idea what I will do. I am thinking about taking a floor pillow and sitting outside with some incense, some music, and a simple feast. I do not know if whether I will be able to see the moon due to the marine layer but I at least will be outside. If I can find my grimoire, I can read the charge of the Goddess. Maybe I can find it in one of the books I have unpacked. This should be a good start. The moon will be in Pisces.

Michael went out last night. I stayed home and puttered, mostly played solitaire, caught up reading in my "Courage to Change," and write some more in my journal. All the while I have one eye on the television. Finally I stopped and fell asleep in my chair where Michael found me when he arrived home.

I do not know why I have to play computer games prior to writing. Maybe it makes my brain numb. I really need - want - to write first. Doing the "first things first," so much for good intentions.

My other good intention is going to church at the Episcopal Church here in Los Osos. Nope. I do not want to get up. I believe it to be the thought of making a change. New surroundings and new people, gives me anxiety. I have even deleted the alarm for it from my cell phone calendar. I do not know why I am so against this when it is so close to home. Maybe next will I will gather the courage to go.

It is overcast this morning and afternoon. The temperatures are to be in the low 60s. It is nice here in the dining room right now. Yesterday, I had the slider open for awhile but then we shut the door because it was too cool in the apartment. I was not that uncomfortable but Michael was.

Michael's dilemma yesterday was not having a hat to wear that he likes. He has been wearing the red Mexico hat. Red is not his color and I do not believe it fits his head right. He needs to find a black hat he likes, preferably a Harley hat.

He said to me yesterday that since next year he is going to turn 60 he wants big doings. I told him I was not going to do a party. I am thinking about inviting Lord and Lady Scott and Lady C and Sir Tim.

I do hope that Sir Frank is okay. I hope his doctor's appointment goes well on Tuesday and there is nothing really wrong with his heart. I feel for the Amazing Mz. M. This is where I wish we lived closer together. If something should happen to Frank, I know she would feel it deeply.

I wonder how she will feel once Mother dies. There will be a hole in Marion's heart since she has been spending a fair amount of time with her. Now mother will be living with the Amazing Mz. M and Sir Frank, mother will be more ingrained in Marion's life, but then, this may be a good thing. I must think positive regardless of how I feel about mother. It really bugs me when I slip and call her mom. I have only negative feelings towards her even after this length of time.

I am glad I have stopped dreaming about her. My anxiety must be lessening since the Amazing Mz. M's text of "how would I like a call from mother." Ugh!

The radio station I am listening to - country western - is playing all the songs that were written due to 9-11. On a positive note, I did hear Scotty McCreery sing his song from one that he sang on American Idol. Both Michael and I felt even if he did not win, he would be given some kind of recording contract because he sang so well. Maybe that is one of the gifts I can get with Lady C's gift card from Target. I do not know if they even sell music.

I feel I need to take an afternoon and roam around the Target store to see what they have. I could use some new underclothes. I would like some new music. I wonder if they have the pillow pets. I would love to get that black and white kitty I found in Morro Bay. Or, I could purchase kitchen pots for us. But, Lady C said this was supposed to be stuff for me. I could get another pair of jeans that fit. That would be nice and then I could retire the one pair that has a hole in it. I could use the material in the event any of my others become holey.

Michael cooked up some bacon last night when he came home. The house smells lovely. He left two strips of bacon on a plate which I found this morning. I ate both strips and though I could tell they were from last night, they tasted good.

Last night I had stomach upset from eating the raw chopped garlic we had with our dinner. The garlic smelled heavenly and tasted good but later it came back to haunt me. I had to eat other things to cut the burn. I was hungry because we had a light dinner. I ended up eating hard boiled eggs and frozen fruit. I put away the grapes which were very tasty. The strawberries and raspberries took some work since we had gotten some water under the wax paper. I had to wait until the dish warmed up enough to get the paper to lift from the plate. The raspberries certainly tasted good. I am glad that none of the fruit or much of it went to waste.

Now I am worried about the green peppers sitting on the kitchen counter. Michael assures me he is going to roast the peppers on the stove and then have them to add to our meals. I know when he did the red pepper, it was very tasty.

I need to get back into getting my house in order before doing any of my play things.

mz. em

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Currently Reading:
-- "All My Life: A Memoir" - Susan Lucci with Laura Morton
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