Tuesday

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"Writing is like carrying a fetus." - Edna O'Brien
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These are not morning words. These are afternoon words. I would have liked to have written this morning. However, it is food bank day and Michael and I went to get our provisions. We also picked up some for a friend.

I was still asleep when the alarm went off. I like this part of sleeping. I did not want to get up but to beat the crowd, one must arise early. Yes, we were numbers one and two.

At this hour of the day, we saw the moon. Beautiful is all I can say. Michael attempted to get a snap shot of hit with his cell phone but it did not come out quite right. It was worth the try to see if it could be done.

One food bank friend said that I looked radiant. She wanted to know what my secret was. I said I was not sure other than I had been sleeping well. She agreed with me on this one.

Her friend who drives the really cool red Mustang was very talkative this morning. Next week I will have to ask her what her name is. Apparently she had fallen down twice at work and was severely hurt each time. The first time she injured her back, shoulders, arms, and face. This time it was her arms, shoulders, wrists, and neck. She will be going in for surgery in two weeks to take care of the elbow damage and possibly the wrist damage. She said the workers' comp doctor has been an asshole – my word – and makes her feel terrible. Because of what she has said, she has now been sent to a psychologist once a week.

I am so glad that Dr. P suggested strongly not going through workers' comp when I was having my troubles. I can only imagine what I would have experienced at the hand of those doctors. I remember another person who had troubles with her work and she did not have nice things to say about her experience either.

I am beginning to wonder if my diarrhea is stress induced.

Yes, I am under stress. I did really well at spending money today. The only extras were monies owed to a friend; and, monies to purchase the power pack for the Internet hookup. And still, there is not enough money to buy everything, like:

- Laundry
- Gasoline
- AAA vehicle insurance
- Dr. John
- Pathology clinic
- Radiology department
- Verizon

And, even with buying the power pack, Michael still could not get the Internet to hook up. This was even after he was on the telephone for over 20 minutes with AT&T's tech support. Someone is coming out Friday morning to see what is going on. Hopefully, it is on their end and we will not have to pay for anything. If it is our end, then we will have to pay. I do believe that Michael needed to have waited on signing us up for the Internet. Yes, it is a convenient necessity but at this time, it is becoming costly.

Today's writing prompt is about pre-understanding. The two lines I picked from another writing session is as follows:

I love the sound of my dishwasher. I realize I am multi-tasking at the moment!

Discovery
Intuition
Sharing
Hunting
Wearable
Appealing
Seeing
Hearing
Emitting
Rascal

What do I get out of this, I ask? When I write, I am discovering things about myself. I am noticing the roses in my life. I am using my intuition more than I ever did and I trust it. I am hunting for things to write about with the idea I may possibly share those things with others, such as on my blog. I want my writing to be wearable. When people or even I read my writing, it is so comfortable like my favorite T-shirt or favorite pair of jeans. I want to see in my mind what I have written. As the writer's adage, show don't tell. Can I hear my writing being read to someone, will it sound comfortable coming across someone's lips. What ideas are emitted from hearing or reading my writing? Can I have fun with my writing and be a rascal?

The key words in the second sentence are multi-tasking. Or, is that one word? When I stopped working, I was not going to multi-task at home. Although I find I still do multi-task but in a fun way.

- Such as, when I am using my dishwasher to wash my dishes and I am watching my favorite cooking show.
- When I soak my bite guard for cleaning, I am brushing my teeth.
- When I soak my laundry in the sink, I may be reading my book.
- When there is a television program on that does not hold my attention, I will play solitaire.
- I might be watching television and groom Bailey at the same time.

That is all I can think of at the moment.

I am stressed about the money situation. But, there is nothing more I can do about it except call the institutions and advise them of my situation and go from there. If there is no money, then there is no money. What is the new verbiage: "It is what it is."

I did get Bailey some dry and wet food. In addition, I purchased a new play toy for his fourth birthday coming up on Saturday. The pet store still has the cat tree we would like to buy for Bailey but that is put on hold until we can get out of debt.

Today, I moved the suet basket to the hook on the fence next to the slider. Oh boy, what a raucous the blue jay made when he/she found it had been moved. The jay has taken some of the bread crumbs but has not gone for the suet in its new placement. Even Michael noticed how loud the bird was. I guess he/she was telling the world of his displeasure at finding the suet out of place. I know the bird knows where the suet is because I have seen him looking at it. I guess when he is ready; he will hop down and get himself some of it.

I have a headache from the stress. There is much to do. Plus, the stress I feel from Michael with not getting the parts and pieces to work for the Internet.

Ugh.

I think I need to go sit in my chair and read my book for awhile; if not that, then to groom Bailey and just love on him.

We went to the dollar store today. I am glad we did because we were able to get a good many things on my list. The total price was $32+. Not too bad by my way of thinking. Some of the products were of a smaller size than we are used to but if I go easy on them they may make the month.

I do not like the idea I cannot purchase the toilet paper I like. Michael drove into SLO-town to the clinic to get our provisions and we received a couple of rolls of toilet paper. I just hope Goddess shows me the way through this maze. I really would like to do the laundry at the laundromat. It would really be nice to have some gas in the truck. Tomorrow I will call St. Stephens to see if they give gas vouchers. Or maybe, I will call Trinity Methodist church to see if they do.

I hate being this broke. It is the pits. Maybe it’s time for me to call it quits. I have written though and I even used the writing prompt and I felt I got something from it.

mz. em

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Currently Reading:
-- "All My Life: A Memoir" - Susan Lucci with Laura Morton
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