Dispatches from the City of Angels
I'm a writer and humorist living in and writing about Los Angeles. You can catch my novel LOSING CLEMENTINE out March 6 from William Morrow. In the meantime, feel free to poke around. Over at my website you can find even more blog entries than I could fit here, as well as a few other ramblings. Enjoy and come back often.
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Favorite Quotes:
"Taint what a horse looks like, it’s what a horse be." - A Hat Full of Sky by Terry Pratchett
"Trying to take it easy after you've finished a manuscript is like trying to take it easy when you have a grease fire on a kitchen stove." - Jan Burke
"Put on your big girl panties, and deal with it." - Mom
"How you do anything is how you do everything."
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Obedience School
I don't know about other cities, but trying to get a Los Angeleno to share a sidewalk is like trying to put on a new pair of pantyhose without getting them all wonky and twisted in the crotch. Ain't never gonna happen.
Forget letting you pass, I've had people stop in the middle, blocking the entire way, and watch stock still as I try to maneuver around them.
"No, no. Please, don't move. I love being forced into busy streets. Really. LOVE IT!"
Happens every single day on my runs. Every. Single. Day.
I've given up entirely. I expect to be shoved into oncoming traffic. I brace for it. I cower. And then...
Today, a blind woman was approaching from the opposite direction with a seeing-eye dog. Okay, now clearly, she gets the right of way. No question. So as I prepare to hurl myself into the gutter next to a VW doing forty, the dog nudged his owner over so we could both pass on the sidewalk.
Did you get that? The DOG let me pass. THE DOG.
In four years, I haven't gotten a human to do that.
Blew my mind.
Forget letting you pass, I've had people stop in the middle, blocking the entire way, and watch stock still as I try to maneuver around them.
"No, no. Please, don't move. I love being forced into busy streets. Really. LOVE IT!"
Happens every single day on my runs. Every. Single. Day.
I've given up entirely. I expect to be shoved into oncoming traffic. I brace for it. I cower. And then...
Today, a blind woman was approaching from the opposite direction with a seeing-eye dog. Okay, now clearly, she gets the right of way. No question. So as I prepare to hurl myself into the gutter next to a VW doing forty, the dog nudged his owner over so we could both pass on the sidewalk.
Did you get that? The DOG let me pass. THE DOG.
In four years, I haven't gotten a human to do that.
Blew my mind.
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