Anne,

Wow. It is amazing how much better i feel after a binge. Mentally I mean. Physically I could stand to feel better. But it was worth any thing physical to get the better mental feeling. I miss Josh though. I havent seen him in forever. We just keep missing each other. Last night I felt so bad because I could not shut up. Bob is like all quiet and I am talking about mice and shit. Josh is real talkative like me. At least we can talk on the phone though. I am so glad to have him home. The shit has really hit the fan at home. The realator came out and doesnt want to list the house for much which pissed off my mom and dad. How, I dont know. That poor house needs so many repairs. They know that somwhere in the back of their cluttered brains. And now they are on a cleaning frenzy which means when I make my way home from cousin bob's that is what I will have to do. I am so sick of cleaning that house. You know anne, if life keeps going like this I could stick around for a bit. I should not have said that because it wont, but oh well. I am going to write amanda and brooke and tell them the vacation is a no go. I have been putting it off because I really wanted to go. I wanted to meet Jacob and see Bill and Brooke who I havent seen in a couple of years. Sigh. It might take a few more years but eventually it will work out again I guess. I can always go see Amanda in september if we are all moved and stuff. Whenever I go we are going to the badlands. It has been far to long since I have been there and I miss it. The energy there is incredible. I am sure I have said that before, but I am pretty out of it right now. Well, bob is back with food, so I suppose I should go. Maybe that will wake me up some.