Anne,

Have I mentioned that I am sick of being lied to? I am sure I have and I am sure you are tired of hearing it, but that doesnt mean I am any less tired of it. You think people would cut me some fucking slack. I am about a month away from losing the place I finally liked living in, I cant go on my vacation because I will be here nursing my mom back to health, I hate almost everything and everyone. Oh well. Hopefully these people will be out of my life soon. If not, I will cut them out. I need to concentrate on the good people in my life. I am going to Bob's again this weekend. I have no idea why he wants me to come over again but he does. Probobly just because he misses Ryan and wants some kind of company even if it has to be me. Poor guy. Oh well, realizing that will make it easier when him and ryan get back together and I am left with my parents again. And Josh. God I just love him. He wants me to get a cell phone, which I cannot afford, so he asked his sister to add me to their plan. I will turn it down of course since I cant pay for it but the thought is so nice. He really cares for me, and thinks about me. Looks out for me. He is everything a girl could ask for in a big brother.
We went out last night, and of course we had a good time. I got a little annoyed because one of Josh's lesbian friends, her little friend seems to like me. Which is fine, but I wish she were a man. If I could attract straight men like I can gay men and underage lesbians I would be in heaven. I feel another binge comming on though. Things are just begining to get to be a little to much for me. Not even that I guess, I just want to be high. It takes me to such a nice place. It is almost like the detachment but it is only temporary. And not as much time passes.