Ever since I can remember I have lived two separate lives. There is what I write in this journal most of the time, which is the inner me. The darkness that I hate for my friends and family to see because it worries them. And it would worry them for nothing. Anne is the only one who hears these things. While I am quite serious in what I say here, there are things I often forget. Like the fact that while at least once a day, for one reason or another, I wish I could end it all. But I wont. While my brother still lives, so will I. If I die before he does, then he has won. He has fucked me up so bad that he turns out to be the victor and I will not let that happen. Not to mention the fact that I consider it my duty to take care of my parents. I am their only child, and I will be the only one to help them. I will not shirk that responsibiblty. This is what leads to my second life. The face I present to the world for the most part. One of stability and caring. And that is there. Despite my musings here I am one of the most stable people you will meet. Not when it comes to myself really, but when it comes to others. Because of all that has happened to me, I have an uncanny insight and intuition. I love to help people with problems they cannot solve. I love to be the one to give them the wisdom and strength to get through a situation. As far as I am concerned that is the only talent I have, and I will use it in anyway I can.