Who am I? It is a question I ask muself a lot. I dont know who I am anymore. When I look in the mirror I dont know who I see. Oh its me alright. On the outside. But when you take a closer look, into my eyes, you notcie something is missing. What happened to the self confidant girl I used to be? What happened to the girl who had hobbies and accquaintences. Favorite movies. Favorite fodds. Favorite musc. Alright, favorite music is never going to change. Who am I? It is a question I ask myself a lot. I don’t know who I am anymore. When I look in the mirror I don’t know who I see. Oh its me alright. On the outside. But when you take a closer look, into my eyes, you notice something is missing. What happened to the self confidant girl I used to be? What happened to the girl who had hobbies and acquaintances? Favorite movies. Favorite foods. Favorite music. Alright, favorite music is never going to change. New things will be added, and something taken away, but it will still be there. I just have this weird kind of self denial thing going on. I know music has the power to make me happy. And it is sitting right in front of me. Yet I don’t play it. I don’t sing anymore. I know hearing a sympathetic word from a friend would make me feel better but I keep my feelings bottled up inside. Most of the time I am content to float, from job to job. Friend to friend. From place to place. But there are the times when something or someone forces me to take a look inside myself. And all I find is chaos and fear. I am afraid to like something. Afraid to want something because I keep getting knocked down. I get knocked down and it gets taken away. Just when I really learn to love it or appreciate it. I am afraid that will happen with the friends I have now and then what the fuck am I going to do? I don’t like most people. I am sick of going through the motions of getting close to someone only to have them ripped away before I am ready. I have to get out of this mindset. I just cant.