Very tired but feeling more settled after having seen ED, though it was quite gruelling.

The worst bit was the music session on 'Memory Lane' aka the dementia unit, where ED does not yet live, but where she is heading. There were fourteen residents in all, twelve of them over eighty, my girl and another woman who looked a bit younger than me, plus the music therapy guy (who plays a mean piano) and two or three other staff. They are fabulous, enthusiastic, generating a real jolly, chaotic atmosphere for the sing-a-long and making sure everyone had some kind of percussion instrument as well as asking each by name to choose a song. One woman had a strong, beautiful voice and everyone else did what they liked, banging things, joining in singing bits they knew, or dancing a few steps or just sitting in their chair grinning. If I had been visiting an aged parent there, I would have been very happy, but to be there with my precious girl was like being in the seventh circle of hell. When we sang "My Bonny lies over the ocean" (my Bonny lies over the sea/My Bonny lies over the ocean/oh bring back my Bonny to me) I just wept and wept. ED didn't notice as she can't see fuck all and was gaily waving her arms around and shouting.

Today's photo topic was 'blue' so I took this from the veranda where I go for a smoke:



and this of me and her:



And tomorrow is another day.

Today I am grateful for: My friend SB, who let me rant and wail at her on the phone this morning when I thought I could NOT get myself into the car and up the road until I calmed down and did just that; no stopping on the motorway, straight there and back; those lovely people, making life as good as possible for all those poor souls; my health - I may moan but it could be so much worse; my warm bed and good book, which await me right now

Sweet dreams xxx