I got a text this morning from Grandson, who was up in Bucks at his old school, collecting his exam results. 6 Cs (Maths, Eng lit, Eng lang and triple science), 2 Ds (DT and Geography) and an E (Dance). Then this came on the radio - I'd never listened to the lyrics before, or maybe I had and they'd never struck a chord like they did today:

We've come a long long way together,
Through the hard times and the good.
I have to celebrate you baby,
I have to praise you like I should.




So he's got in to the 6th form college of choice, can't do Maths A Level, isn't bothered, doing Media Studies instead, some discussion as to whether he can do Computer Science with only a C in Maths and science, but YD spoke to them on the phone, reminding them that he did this well from a secondary modern school whilst virtually living alone in an isolated village, with his mother in a care home and an absentee step-father, no help, no encouragement, no meals cooked or washing done. He's a fucking star - not being able to really make it better (by making his mum better) KILLS ME, but hey ho and on we go. Made myself cry writing that.

Fag break - in the rain, man that pisses me off, not being able to smoke indoors in my own home. I mean, I could kick up a fuss, I s'pose, and grind them down till they agree on at least one room, but instead I just collect resentment.

So. A bit before that YD heard that they've got the flat they've been after, from next Tuesday, though they won't move in till after Shambala as we leave for that on the Thursday. Oh man. Such good news - SIL in particular has been really struggling with waiting to hear whether they'd been accepted as tenants - his face looks totally different today.

In fact I expect all of our faces look different - such a drop in tension, we've all almost keeled over with the letting go. I feel like it's the middle of the night and it's not even 12 yet.

And - I've got a door on my bedroom! Woo hoo! Niece's boyfriend came and fitted it this afternoon. I can't actually close it, of course, as the bloody cat wants to go in and out all the fucking time, but it's pushed 'to' and covers the gap so I don't feel all exposed any more.

I made it to yoga, total bliss. I've decided (I think) to stick to Buddhist Centre yoga with ... need to think of a name for him - the guy that I used to think was a twat, but whose classes are just the best ever... anyway, him, twice a week and fuck the one down the road, which is just too 'keep fit in the village hall'. It's good for keeping your body limber, but offers no nourishment to the jaded spirit, unlike yoga guy. Today there was a youngish mum there, with her teenage daughter who has Down's Syndrome, and it was a beautiful thing, to share that time with them.

Today I am grateful for: a sense of new beginnings, of moving through this stuck place we've been in; nice, supportive comments when I really needed them; a visit from M, my most difficult friend, during which we were happy to be together and didn't piss each other off; Bloke funding a celebratory meal in the Italian place; the cheesecake me and YD made without a recipe or previous cheesecake experience turning out to be delicious.

Sweet dreams dear friends xxx