Psychobiography 201389 Curiosities served |
2007-01-05 11:57 AM Eye contact Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (0) Life is more than juggling the past, present, and future. I only learned that last year. God told me. No buts enter the mind when shown the truth. Life without spirituality is for those perfecting their juggling. For a perfectionist who made a lousy juggler, life without God was a struggle; all uphill.
Without God, one is cloaked in black--a bogeyman. There's even a haze over the eyes. They don't commonly make eye contact. Not because of others, but because they don't like seeing the haze; it's a frightening part of their personality, they think. If they're seen looking at it then others will notice it too. Look away and others will look away. Back to the narrow hallway of the past, present, and future. Narrow to the ego. All in the dark, remember. The present is ignored almost entirely. It is a creeping monster. Scary! The past--the monster rolls movies in her head, of perfection. Soft visuals of a wondrous child in a colorful world. Alone. Learning that just because a littered cup with straw lay aside a yellow jacket hive doesn't mean the straw is for poking in. Learning not to put beads in her nose. Learning that church makes her yawn. Learning that gum does not wash out of clothes with soap and water. Learning that mom is for those hard-to-maneuver Barbie clothes. Learning that airplanes go nicely with quiet summer afternoons... And the mind grew, and there were other kinds of memories. The peach was ripening. People didn't care. People were mean. They stopped looking her in the eye. She only knew herself and believed she caused even the people who said "love" to look away. What's the future hold for a narrow-minded, egotistical monster? Scaring people, including herself. Living only in one's mind is a scary place. Pure memories turn rotten. Hopes of becoming a delicious peach become fears of tasting sour and reproducing even worse. There is no ego. There is no black cloak. There is no personality. There is no monster. There is no juggling. There is no peach. There is no past or future. Read/Post Comments (0) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top |
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