Tuesday night I made amends to my mom (step 9). I told her that I talked about her behind her back and I'm ashamed of it, and that I would no longer harp on her about her issues because 1. it makes ME feel bad, 2. she's had a difficult life and needs love, and 3. who the heck am I to say what someone else should do differently?

What a wonderful freedom. Now I can love her the way I want to. I'm the cycle breaker. Maybe I can finally learn from her how to be so generous and patient.

***

On another note, a sad note, my papa is dying. He is 94, recently healthy besides gout and going blind, and in the hospital for a week of rapidly declining health. He was diagnosed with the worst kind of leukemia, his kidneys are failing, and his body is reacting to what is going on, with pain and infections. He is in Virginia with my aunt. All she can say is that he looks so much worse than my grandma did--she died horribly from lung cancer. I can't even imagine.

Just some wishes for peace for him would be appreciated.