At the end of 2007 I anticipated the arrival of 2008, as both the result of what I thought at the time was a challenging 2007 and a strong intuition to look forward to 2008.

2008 showed me how wrong I was that I thought 2007 was challenging. I now know the truth to the aphorism that one good thing about hitting rock bottom is that "there's no where else to go but up" having reached what I pray will forever be my darkest night 1/1/09.

Pondering the trustworthiness of my intuition I realized that the feeling was true i.e. "I" did anticipate 2008; the error was that "i" didn't realize that sometimes what the Soul anticipates may leave the ego going "oh frak" because from a Soul level 2008 was incredibly productive. "i" also understood that some portion (some would say all) of the perceived pain was due to "my" resistance.

While 2009 has had its share of challenges at the same time it has been more 'recognizably' better [1] (and again in hindsight I see the challenging time were those were when I was most resistant to the Path "I" was following).

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[1] This is a bit of a pet peeve between 'me' (what I call "little i" and my Soul / Higher Power / "Higher Intelligence" ("Big I").

As I see it there's two kinds of 'good' in one's experience (yes, I realize I'm making a value judgement): that which leaves you going "Oh, that's good!" - this I call "recognizable good".

Then there's the 'good' which takes some digging, time, patience, willingness, openness and motivation to find as good i.e. it's not immediately recognizable as 'good'.

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Looking back I feel the last ~18 months have culminated this week in an internal shift coupled with some experiences I had visiting my Dad which has impressed on me the message transmitted by many (all?) of the great spiritual teachers - that what is important is our relationships, not our material possessions and / or accomplishments.

Coming as it does as I've been reframing and building my relationship this Fall with my daughter and experiencing all the (recognizable!) good which are its fruits is a powerful affirmation that I'm headed in the right direction.

This year I've gained great clarity in many areas of my life, experienced powerful insights and the inspiration and support to allow them to shape my life and am at the place of experiencing the end of 2009 / beginning of 2010 on the other side of the feel good / feel not so good continuum as I did ending 2008 / beginning 2009, for which I am extremely grateful.

Of people I've talked to about their feelings about 2009 and expectations / hopes for 2010, they fall into two classes: those like me who feel that relative to 2009, 2008 was more challenging and those who sound like I did a year ago - eager to bid good riddance to 2009 and hoping for a brighter 2010.

To the extent my experiences can be applicable for others glad to see 2009 end - have courage.

Love y'all.