Selichot - I semi-accidentally found out there were services tonight at 10 PM-midnight, in preparation for the High Holy Days. I say "accidentally" because it was no great plan or design that I was in services on Friday night, heard the announcement of a movie night at 8 PM Saturday followed by a service, and I thought, "I'll be in town, I could go." But I had no idea what the "Selichot" service would be (although I recognized elements of the service from previous years).

A Moving Passage - One of the portions we read silently touched me very personally. I took the time at the end of the service to grab a notecard from my purse and frantically, quickly, write down the whole passage. When I got home and ran a check on the internet, I found it attributed from the play "Great God Brown" by Eugene O'Neill, 1926; from Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel, 1990; and a few sites mentioned Tikkun Nefashot, Repair of the soul. Most reliable is the attribution credit that it comes from Eugene O'Neill, or at least the first two paragraphs. (I'm fairly certain Brennan Manning is quoting Eugene O'Neill.) The closing paragraph was obviously adapted for our services.

Here it is from our devotions tonight.

Why am I afraid to dance, I who love music, rhythm, and song? Why am I afraid to live, I who love life and the living colors of earth and sky and sea? Why am I afraid to believe, I who admire commitment, sincerity, and trust?

Why am I afraid to love? I who yearn to give myself in love? Why am I afraid, I who am not afraid? Why must I be so ashamed of my strength or of my weakness? Why must I live in a cage like a criminal, defying and hating, I who love peace and friendship? Was I born without a skin, that I must wear armor in order to touch or be touched? ^[O'Neill]

Beginning tonight, I initiate a period of self-evaluation. I sit in judgement of myself. Before the tribunal of reason and honesty, the roster of my deeds stands exposed. The reality of my daily life meets the sharp serenity of my ideals. I want to be so much so much more than I am. I want to be wiser, kinder, more vital, and more confident in the act of living. I want to seize the world zestfully and turn it to some urgent purpose. I want ever so much to feel commitment, direction, and faith.

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Today's Blessing That I'm Thankful For: Inspiration, and a congregation where that can be found

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Postscript Notes: According to http://www.jewfaq.org/elul.htm#Selichot -

As the month of Elul draws to a close, the mood of repentance becomes more urgent. Prayers for forgiveness called selichot (properly pronounced "s'lee-KHOHT," but often pronounced "SLI-khus") are added to the daily cycle of religious services. Selichot are recited in the early morning, before normal daily shacharit service. They add about 45 minutes to the regular daily service.

Selichot are recited from the Sunday before Rosh Hashanah until Yom Kippur. If Rosh Hashanah begins on a Monday or Tuesday, selichot begins on the Sunday of the week before Rosh Hashanah, to make sure that there are at least 3 days of Selichot. The first selichot service of the holiday season is usually a large community service, held around midnight on Motzaei Shabbat (the night after the sabbath ends; that is, after nightfall on Saturday) . The entire community, including men, women and older children, attend the service, and the rabbi gives a sermon. The remaining selichot services are normally only attended by those who ordinarily attend daily shacharit services in synagogue.

Also, according to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selichot -

In the Sephardic tradition, Selichot begins during the series of Selichot services of the High Holidays on the second day of the Hebrew month of Elul. In the Ashkenazic tradition, it begins on the Saturday night before Rosh Hashanah. (However, if Rosh Hashanah falls on Monday/Tuesday or Tuesday/Wednesday, Selichot are said beginning the Saturday night prior to ensure that there are at least four nights of Selichot).