This entry is going to be full of Richard Bach. Just a warning.

I was offered a new job on Friday. I haven't accepted it yet; I wanted some time to think it over. There are some aspects of it that I'm not too crazy about, so I needed to weigh the pros and cons and all that crap.

"You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however."

It took me over a year to get a job offer. I've been on all sorts of job hunting websites (Monster, HotJobs, MediaBistro, etc etc etc) and probably been on around 20 interviews since this time last year, more if you count meeting with headhunters. So when I was offered this new job, it was hard to control my immediate impulse to say "yes". But I knew that I shouldn't be impetuous.

On some levels, I'm petrified that I won't be able to do this new job. There are responsibilities I've never had before, and it will require me to push myself farther than I have in at least the 3 years I've been at my present job, and even the job before that. It requires a lot of creativity and ingenuity, and I haven't stretched my mind in ages. I feel like my brain has atrophied, and I just don't know if I can handle what this new place would ask of me.

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours."

On the other hand, I NEED to be challenged, otherwise my brain WILL atrophy. I want to do something exciting for a change. I want to be able to say, "Yes, I created this." I want to be stimulated intellectually, I want to confer with others, I want to brainstorm. And this new job will help me do all of this, and more.

"A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed, it feels an impulsion... this is the place to go now. But the sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons."

I have no doubt that accepting this new job will be a step in the right direction for my mental well-being as well as for my career.

But that doesn't mean I'm not scared shitless.

But then I realized that, you know what? I'm not locked into this job, either. If I'm really miserable and I feel that I CAN'T handle the workload, or I can't stand the long hours, or the people don't work and play well with me, I can leave.

"You are led through your lifetime by the inner learning creature, the playful spiritual being that is your real self. Don't turn away from possible futures before you're certain you don't have anything to learn from them. You're always free to change your mind and choose a different future, or a different past."

See, that Richard Bach? Smart guy.