I don't know why it didn't occur to me that having a tumor in my brain would mean cutting into my skull. I thought, maybe they could go through the ear canal or something. (Stupid, I know.)

But then I did some basic research and realized the only way they can get this sucker out is to go through the skull. That's also when I realized that, once I have this done, I'll never be able to donate blood again. Which really kind of sucks. (And the whole surgery scenario scared the bejeesus out of me, but that's another story.)

Whichever way they go in, it'll leave a nifty scar. I think I need to cut my hair really, really short and dye it bright blond. Or maybe black. Since they'll need to shave a swathe of hair by my ear anyway, and I've always wondered what I'd look like with short hair.

I know this is putting the cart before the horse...there are specialists to see and other decisions to make before I get to hair styles.

But it doesn't hurt to be prepared, mentally at any rate. I don't know yet what's too much information and what's not enough information to take in, what will be too overwhelming. This morning, I was in tears at the prospect of possibly leaking spinal fluid out of my nose. Now I'm more at peace with that possibility, and more pissed off about the not-donating-blood-ever-again thing.

Tonight we're going to the Hollywood Bowl to hear John Williams conduct his movie music. Something important to do while I still can hear out of my right ear...so there's a picnic to pack.

I may be changing the URL of this blog, to be less anonymous. I don't know yet. But if so, I'll post it here and wait a few days before it changes.

Be good, y'all.