One one of the writers' loops I'm on, yesterday a message was posted that one of our writer's husband died the day before Thanksgiving. She offered to give anyone the home address of the woman off-line if we wanted to send messages of sympathy.

I immediately responded to her email with the address request.

It may seem strange - we're with the same publishing house, and three months ago I didn't know her name. But I remember when my mother died - the healing my father received from the over 100 cards sent to him.

When a good friend's father died recently, it took me almost six weeks - but I finally sent him a sympathy card from the family. Several days later, he sent me an email saying that while he had received many emails expressing friends' sympathy, he was grateful for my card, as it gave him something tangible to hang on to.

So when notice came about this woman's husband, I asked for the address and when I received it, wrote out the card and sent it to her today.

Later, a prominent member of the loop mentioned to everyone that email messages would be nice, and to send them to her privately. Not thinking clearly, I sent an email out saying basically what I had said above - that tangible thing is important in this digital age.

No one responded - and when the recent widow came online to express her gratitude for the supportive emails sent her way, I slunk into a corner and hoped no one had been offended by my email.

But still, I'm glad I sent it - and I'm glad I sent the card. That tangible expression of sympathy, something you can wet with tears, becomes all the more precious as time passes.