On the adoption front: will be visiting my sister the first week in May. We will see what happens then. Even if we don't find out anything new, it is a chance to visit and talk things through. We never have talked about how the adoption/abandonment made us feel with each other. I have talked to others, but not with her. Funny-but I didn't think she had issues with it since she was so much younger, even though she spoke French so she had contact with our birth mother. Talk about a blind spot.

On the work front: I made a formal appointment with my division head who had secured and paid for my detail. This was on the advise of my manager. We had a frank discussion-at least frank on my part. I apologized for my leave issue while I was on detail. We discussed my job prospects here and my previous work history. But I also gave her input as to how I think, and what I don't see. I don't see the "what can be improved around here" type of things. Once I know a job, I can improve my performance on the particular task, but the intuitive 'this can be done better' doesn't come to me.

I explained that I have minimal college with none of the 'critical thinking' courses that come with that education. I know I lack that. I know I need that to advance that. I know that our onboard course system has some of those type of courses but before this detail, I expected to go back to the type of work I was doing before. I am not so now I need to rethink my career development. I explained to her that I have made a commitment to have a plan to my manager at the end of this month. I asked if she had anything for me. The end shot is I need to reshow my commitment by 1) being at work and 2) completing the assignments I have commited to.

Maybe my street cred isn't totally unredeemable as I was thinking or I am working for/with a remarkable group of managers who don't give up on people and are willing to give a second chance. I just can't and won't blow it.

The one thing that I did tell her that the goal is to be an analyst in this division. She advised me that the only downfall is that I may need to take a downgrade to get into a spot that will eventually lead to a higher grade. I told her that wouln't matter because in the long run it is an upgrade.

Crocheting-well, my daughter asked me if I could make a baby blanket for a friend of hers-baby boy due in March. So shopping for warm, cuddly yarn on Saturday.

Last night, SO got home from shopping right after I got home. I made a frozen dinner-lasagne rolls-Bertolli's. Not bad, just enough for 2. Definately better than Stouffers-not fake tasting. Then we started watching the news. Which was mainly about Haiti. (lots of prayers). I don't know what was the problem, but sitting on the couch, I couldn't even crochet, I dozed off, then woke up. I thought I just had had my little nap and would stay awake but I kept nodding off. I finally went to bed at 7:30! Didn't even feel SO come to bed. I woke up well refreshed this morning at 4:15, got up when my alarm went off at 4:30. I noticed that this type of sleepiness is happening on Thursdays alot. I guess I have to start going to bed earlier each night-but so many good tv shows on the food netword!!! Oh well, time to get ready for work. talk to you later,.