Remember when I said that if we waited long enough we may not need the counselor? Well we were driving along yesterday morning and hubby brought up topic of me needing things to change. And he kept on pushing and pushing and pushing. And I let it all come out. He was not quite prepared for it. I don't think. But he wouldn't stop. So it ALL came out. The feeling like I was loosing myself, being blown over, not being recognized as having a brain any more in my own home. Of coming in last. Everything. To say it was more than he can handle is understating the fact. It led to a couple of arguements-and examples of how he always thinks his way is the only way. (One of these led to him throwing out half of a cup of his soda and going out in a huff) but we now have 3 emails from him and 1 from me to him -answering to bring to the counselor. And we are trying to work it out. He expects instantaneous results. He expects that the change will be all on his part. I know differently. He also thinks he can do it on his own.

He did make a comment that everytime he has heard of one partner being this unhappy in a relationship and seeking help, that divorce was the outcome. I tried to tell him that he didn't hear of the ones that worked it out.
And that maybe the reason that divorce was the outcome was that the one that didn't have the "problem" that was happy with the status quo didn't want to change. That left the other one with a hard choice.