Eric said that a relationship shouldn't be this much work. And I agree with him. If I had realized what I was getting 30 years ago-if the blinders weren't on, I would've left a long time ago. But for me, unless it gets much worse, I am in it for the long haul I think. I am using the site that my BFF Teri has shown me, and it has lots of help, as well as what to do when it is too much and time to leave. But for right now, I will work through it. So you will hear about part of it. I come from that border generation where divorce was happening, but not quite acceptable yet. Where once you got married, if you got divorced, the family rumour if anything happened was- "well, she is divorced you know" and out of all of my cousins, I think only 4 of us are not divorced. And I have a lot of cousins. So, I will work it through for now. I am learning things that I wish I knew about 15-20 years ago-it is going to be hard, but my opening does mention "growth" and what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

I did find out one thing, my husband only joined the church I did-was baptized on our 10th anniversary, to spend more time with me. He felt that I was spending to much time in church activities and with church friends. There is the clinging. Oh,Teri, thank you for staying a friend through all of this. I expect him home any minute so I am getting off, but thanks for your patience and any hints you can send,I will use. More later.