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Teri asked if there was something else driving me to want to go ont the trip we are doing. Beside seeing DD etc, I think that there may be. It is our anniversary 9/7 and his birthday. We aren't doing anything big, but he is looking forward to it as much as when we planned our trip to Branson, MO. So, I think that is really influencing me. Not to mention that when I mentioned the possibility of me not making it-he was cancelling his trip too!! Not good-talk about potential for major blow!!!!!!!

And since I have been reading so much on BPD, I am learning more about how I have contributed some to it through out the years. Mostly from behavior I learned surviving my childhood-but some from my own expectation of what a "wife and mother" did and accepted. Talk about messed up! Hubby and I have talked somewhat about how we approached our early married life and our roles in it-including the "w&m" ideals. Neither of us had good role model for mother and I picked up Church ideal-which wasn't the best for me.

I know it wasn't/isn't my fault-behaviors can and will be changed. That is happening. It is difficult. Teri did try to tell me, and you know Teri, he is picking up faster than he did before. He knows when boundaries are getting close. For example:SIL is buying house-they signed papers. For first time since we moved here, they won't need the rent on our old house to survive. DD asked if they can keep it for a few months, to build a cushion so that they can get a few things that they will need for the house and have emergency funds. DH said yes immediately, and then looked at me with deer in headlights look-we were on speaker phone with DD. I said yes too. The problem wasn't the money-the problem was not confering with me first. HE CAUGHT IT!! ON HIS OWN!! This is huge. This is something that we have been having disagreements over for awhile. When the call ended, he apologized for not getting agreement from me first. When we go out there, we will set timeline w/DD as to stopping. We can use funds for our own emergency fund!

Well,got to go. But wanted to post.

crochetlady's Journal Meanderings, Hopes, Writing and Growth Wife of 32 years, mother of 2, grandmother of 3, Government worker eligible to retire in 5 years, crocheter of 34 years; hopeful writer; people watcher; reader of much; lover of cats,dogs,horses and most four legged animals;and much more to learn about myself.
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Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (2) Share on Facebook		2010-09-01 1:38 PM 2nd of today Teri asked if there was something else driving me to want to go ont the trip we are doing. Beside seeing DD etc, I think that there may be. It is our anniversary 9/7 and his birthday. We aren't doing anything big, but he is looking forward to it as much as when we planned our trip to Branson, MO. So, I think that is really influencing me. Not to mention that when I mentioned the possibility of me not making it-he was cancelling his trip too!! Not good-talk about potential for major blow!!!!!!! And since I have been reading so much on BPD, I am learning more about how I have contributed some to it through out the years. Mostly from behavior I learned surviving my childhood-but some from my own expectation of what a "wife and mother" did and accepted. Talk about messed up! Hubby and I have talked somewhat about how we approached our early married life and our roles in it-including the "w&m" ideals. Neither of us had good role model for mother and I picked up Church ideal-which wasn't the best for me. I know it wasn't/isn't my fault-behaviors can and will be changed. That is happening. It is difficult. Teri did try to tell me, and you know Teri, he is picking up faster than he did before. He knows when boundaries are getting close. For example:SIL is buying house-they signed papers. For first time since we moved here, they won't need the rent on our old house to survive. DD asked if they can keep it for a few months, to build a cushion so that they can get a few things that they will need for the house and have emergency funds. DH said yes immediately, and then looked at me with deer in headlights look-we were on speaker phone with DD. I said yes too. The problem wasn't the money-the problem was not confering with me first. HE CAUGHT IT!! ON HIS OWN!! This is huge. This is something that we have been having disagreements over for awhile. When the call ended, he apologized for not getting agreement from me first. When we go out there, we will set timeline w/DD as to stopping. We can use funds for our own emergency fund! Well,got to go. But wanted to post. Read/Post Comments (2) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top