But I am at work-even though I am in pain. I promised boss I would be here every day till 11/4. I started hurting on way home. I didn't do alot of lifting-though I did carry a box with 6 franklin refills and 8 small calendars around for a little bit. Then I had to rearrange my files for the new fiscal year. That is the only thing that I could think of that could be triggering the pain.

Of course, dh thinks that I "led him on" so last night was not the best. Of course, now he's telling me that I am not behaving the way we agreed. The only time this happens is when I am sick. I have been watching when he says that my behavior changes-guess what-it is when I have to take care of myself. So, It is not my behavior really, it is what he expects. He said that when he called yesterday (he stayed home sick again) he could tell I wasn't 100%. I felt fine then. But we flirted and he got his 'hopes' up. When I got in, I told him I wasn't feeling good and was starting to feel pain. He offered to rub my back and when he touched a certain part I flinched. Then he pushed closer and I jumped. My whole side reacted. I apologized and told him all my muscles were reacting. I should have said nerves. He got upset. I ended up taking a nap. I woke up when he covered me with the sheet. Why couldn't he leave me alone. Then he got mad cause I led him on with the flirting. OH VEY!! But I stayed calm. I am learning well. I need to take care of myself when this happens. All he wanted to do was figure out what triggered this episode. He doesn't want to hear "we may never know" .

The funny thing is at 9 he said he was going to bed. I wasn't ready, I needed to say up till 10 to take next dose of tylenol to help me sleep. I told him that, but because I didn't ask him to stay up with me he got mad. Because in the old days I would ask him. The he stayed up-and got upset cause I was watching a show that he considers nonsense since we would never use it. HUH? It was interesting to me! He said he was falling asleep at the computer. I didn't ask him to stay up-he chose to. But it was my fault. So we get ready for bed.

Then he starts talking sitting on the bed on how he went into the job he's in so he could start earning more money so I wouldn't have to work anymore. Yeah, right. He wasn't looking in the public sector for a job before we moved to DC but he's trying to make me feel like he was. I told him he never told me his plans, he said he couldn't talk to me, that we didn't talk. That the change in ME happened way before HE came out here. NOW that's a first. And he starts going on and on about how we would go home and I would watch tv and crochet and not want to talk. HUH? I admit that yes tv and crochet, but habit formed from his actions. I was trying to stay calm and cool. I finally told him that I had to get to sleep and that we could talk about all this later. Could we shelve the discussion for the time being since it was late. He fussed some so I mentioned that he could have brought this up while he was up between 9 and 10. He said that he didn't because I didn't feel like talking. Now he can read minds. LOL!! And then he continued that this happened 2 weeks ago and he then he was ready to leave. (yup-and that was my last bout-and he did threaten to leave. here is the merry go round) This time if he threatens I will not overreact. But I don't know what to say.

I can't get to post this to the other site-firewalls and no time alone at home to do it then.

I just got call from dh saying that while he was home sick stuff at work for him "all hell broke loose and I wasn't here" and "I may not have a job". He will-he's union and they can't just fire him. The worse that will happen is that he will have some responsibilities removed and his evaluation will drop a little but he has options. He knew he was in trouble and I really think that he was 'escaping' somewhat. He doesn't know how/what to do with something and doesn't know what to do-and I don't think he wants to ask anyone since he doesn't have a good working relationship with many people in his unit. His know it all attitude can rub people wrong.