I am at work, though I really want to be at home, but I made a promise that I would come in to work every day until my doctor's appointment.

I figured out dh's real trigger-me getting sick. End of story. He better die before me or else he is going to go off the deep end. I can't do anything about it, but since it is only the two of us here now it is more apparent. Me being sick awakens his fear of me leaving him. Again he said that I was the only one that ever "got him" when we met. That ever truly saw him for himself, that didn't use him for money, for gifts for anything. And when I get sick now all of his insecurities come out. But I am maintaining boundaries-just have to calm down how business like I do it. I tend to have a strict business persona when I need to hold a boundary in place-I guess it is easier for me that way. But it scares him into further problems, so I need to work a little on that. But a peaceful night. A calm night. I am getting the hang of things.