It is. That is what my life is right now. I see what is happening and understand it. Don't like it. I use here to vent it out, read another site to get insight and skills to deal with it. As I put in my comments to TT, I have learned 2 things- 1 I am not alone; and 2. Others have it worse. So I will still vent here. And the few of you that know me personally, well you will understand my tears and yells, the others that don't know me, please understand that behind it all, my dh is a good man, an intelligent man and a man that if he truly understood all that he does would be devestated (sp?) with it all. I believe part of his problem comes from his upbringing and part is his brain. And I also believe that when he leaves this job, some of the worse of the behavior will dissapate again. But for now I have decided to learn to live with it. So, if you don't want to learn of this journey, don't stay with me. But, I think TT hit the nail on the head when she said I need to look at myself to see why I need to be needed. I know that to me, the worse feeling in the world is NOT TO BE WANTED. I have been there-as a child, as a teenager. Don't want to be there as an adult. So that may be why I am still in this mess and until the scale tips too far the other way, I will vent. or learn to deal.