DH talked Friday night-mostly calmly. I worked at trying to understand his point of view with TV. I think that it is always going to be a matter of his neediness. He needs me to be concious of him and what is going on around us, even in the apartment when it is just the two of us. He wants to be able to talk about what we are watching on tv.

Now I have a decision to make.

I know about this neediness. I know he loves me. I know I love him. I know he wants his tether on me-even when I am in the yarn shop, the texts keep coming. I am going to set a boundary regarding that time. No texting unless emergency. He can do without my company for 2 1/2 hours. (from approx. 5:30 to 8). So, do I live with his neediness or do I leave? Right now I am living with it. I am using skills that I am reading about and talking to him about how I hear what he is saying-how I am taking it to mean. And he is doing the same with me. It is not an easy choice to make, and I am doing it knowingly. That is the difference this time. I AM MAKING THE CHOICE, not just going along with him because it is easier.

We have had the discussion about splitting. He even made a statement that he was afraid to leave. When I asked him why, he said that he was afraid that I would follow him and "chain him" to me. I told him that love was not chaining someone to me, that love was letting them go if they wanted to leave. I love him and want what is best for him. Now when I read that, I see that he wants to chain me to him so that I won't leave. He can't chain me. But for now, I am not going anywhere. (we will see what happens in six months)