I don't think he is, I think that he fully expects certain behaviors and even when I promise that I will do something-i.e. tell him "I am not interested in watching tv right now, I am going to read for awhile-I only have 1 chapter left in the book..." and I forget to do so. But just start reading, he gets upset. I found out last night that to him that is not asking permission to read, but is advising him that I am taking 'me' time. It really isn't-but that is a different story. Anyway, I am sitting right next to him, but because I am NOT watching tv I am ignoring him. I know, I know-I have written about this before. He went to the bedroom at 9, I followed at 10, after I finished the book, and finished watching the show that HE had put on. And then we had a 'discussion'. 2 hours later still talking, but I came to the fact that to me telling him about the reading was asking permission-just like having to ask my mom. And I react the same way-badly. He doesn't see it that way. Then I told him that I WAS SEEKING HELP THROUGH OUR EMPLOYER'S PLAN TODAY for that problem. He could join me and this would help both of us. UH, no go. Reason-last time he felt that it was all his fault and he had to change and I didn't. And he saw Our relationship as over. He would be gone by the end of the week.

I told him that we had to unravel finances. How about taxes (2010)? He said he wouldn't sign a joint return-I told him I couldn't aford separate-at least 3k, he said more like 5k; I told him it was midnight, I had to work today and I HAD to get to sleep-can we continue discussion tomorrow. He really wanted to continue and started back up. I insisted on sleep.

But I also told him that he was the one quitting-that he didn't want to exhaust all avenues of solutions. (that continued this morning)

Right now my stomach is in turmoil. I cannot live this way. I do feel like the plug is being pulled on this marriage. I have given it my all-but I do feel like that he and my mom may have/had the same type of personality disorder. Or close enough that I am reacting to it. No wonder my mother liked him, she saw a fellow sick person!

sorry about posting this here, but can't access other site on phone and had to get it out.

On another note, I broke the Tuesday curse. Even though I really wanted to stay in BED!! he is working from home, so that was good incentive to get moving, just took me a little longer than normal.

I guess, I may stop working on the sweater, or frog it and make something for me. I don't know, the color works for me...I don't know right now.

The hard thing is that I do love him, I am just soooo tired of the games, of always having to be aware of the attention I am not giving him. That was another complaint. We were waiting at a bus stop, after going to Borders and buying $50 more in books (70% off-so figure how much we would have spent-I had $10 in Borders Bucks-so it would have been $60). While waiting, I pulled out my phone and started playing a game. This is NORMAL. He got upset cause I wasn't talking to him. Uh, we talked waiting for the bus to go to Borders (after work), we talked at lunch, we talked while walking around the store. I didn't have anything more to say. Yeow. I. AM. TIRED.

Now he is texting me not to contact EAP for help. I told him I am no matter what. This is for me. I still can't get T.