I should say exhausted enough that I feel sick, but I made it in today.

We talked alot when I got home. Turns out I didn't get an email he sent over the phone. (phone problem fixed) here is the email:title: A silent Prayer (of sorts)
Dearest Crochetlady, I AM SORRY! I wish last night, for that matter all the previous times, I never spoke up. We would never be at this point. I should have never said anything. I realize now your needs and wants aare greater than my own.
You have made me very aware that your job takes a lot out if you and you need your time, whenever it strikes. You have made me aware that I should realize your needs and give you the room , the wide berth, to do as you need to. You have made me aware of your suffering at the hands of your parents, then from me for so long. I understand I owe you. I thank you for finally showing me the way of my deepest hurtful things I have made you endure. I do not know what the future will bring. All I can attempt to do, if allowed, is to listen and watch for signs from you that I need to stay away. Of course, my voice will become silent on these matters as your needs and wants is why I am still alive. I have always attempted to strive to make things better for you. Yet I failed as I let my needs for us and myself to cloud your life.
I will always love you whether I fell it or not as most of me was built with your love and it was selfish of me to still deserve to be built up and sustained. You will always be my cornerstone!"

I am reading alot of things into this-he is playing into my guilt-He has done sooooo much for me.(sarcasm) He has made so many sacrifices-I am the only reason he is alive and if I do something wrong I take from his life. I am controlling of him. (that is what he wants) We are not to be equals in this relationship in any way.


Now today it is this-Beautiful, My first question was misphrased. I probably should have said:
"Do you desire me to be near you the next two days, especially to eat lunch together and travel home together as a loving couple (smooch)?
If so, I will not ask you if I can work from home?
Otherwise, which day do you think is the best day for me to work from home?
Now keep in mind if I stay home, I would be making supper and we would not be able to eat lunch together or travel home together."
No. These not traps. I desire your invaluable input as making decisions together, being together (when you so desire), and loving each other are at the top of my list right now.


I know this is total enmeshment. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO UN-ENMESH MYSELF and still retain my marriage. Unfortunately, I happen to love this idiot.

TT, can you post this to the other board?

The work from home question-I am going to say work from home Friday. (him making supper is great!)

On a relatively good note. He did the taxes last night. We owe only $20 more than we did last year and considering that the withholding tables where changed because of the 'making work pay' law, which has expired, we are ok. He is changing withholding thought. It is his income. My withholding is in line with my income.