Stories in progress: Alone- romance turned suspense Moonshine to Moonshine - sci/fi fantasy Back Alley

Its one step forward and two steps back. It is cyclic. So you can figure that one out. And it is ALL MY FAULT, though it is said so he is blaming himself, but blaming me at the same time. Very subtle. But doesn't want to say why he is upset. I don't feel like anything intimate. NOT IN THE MOOD! Told him, but I am still suppose to do something, no matter I am hurting-will explain. And he is supposedly in pain too but still wanting intimate play. I have a question, if you are passing kidney stones and have pain from that, how can you be "in the mood"?

My pain comes from my big toe. Sounds funny-specifically-my toe nail. A couple of months ago, B ran over my toe with his wheel chair. It didn't hit my toe directly, so I didn't think much of it. My toe nail looked like it got bruised, so I just was waiting it out. Yeah, right. This weekend the toenail caught in my sheets and just about tore off-not quite. The right side is still attached, but nothing else is. It is being held in place with bandaids now. I am calling podiatrist today. Toe hurt last night when I got home. B wanted to remove toenail himself, and even tried-then saw it was still attached. He wouldn't believe me. (Too much walking/standing makes it hurt more!)

I know pain affects my emotional state. I don't want to play. Am I wired differently than others? I don't think so. I like being held and comforted, but it stops there. Sex is the furthest thing from my mind, in fact, that part of me seems to shut down totally. B doesn't get that.

So last night was a pouting night. That's the best way to describe it. I live with a 4 year old. And he doesn't want to say why he is pouting cause it will come out bad. The pouting is going on till this morning where everything I say is said wrong or with an attitude.

Thanks for letting me vent. I know it is bad when I am willing to eat celery at 6:45 in the morning to satisfy emotional eating craving. Though celery leaves are a little bitter that early!!LOL!!!!

I am doing fine, Nerves are fine. Deep breathing works. So does the crunch crunch crunch of celery!!!

crochetlady's Journal Meanderings, Hopes, Writing and Growth Wife of 32 years, mother of 2, grandmother of 3, Government worker eligible to retire in 5 years, crocheter of 34 years; hopeful writer; people watcher; reader of much; lover of cats,dogs,horses and most four legged animals;and much more to learn about myself.
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Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (8) Share on Facebook		2012-02-16 6:46 AM 1 step forward Its one step forward and two steps back. It is cyclic. So you can figure that one out. And it is ALL MY FAULT, though it is said so he is blaming himself, but blaming me at the same time. Very subtle. But doesn't want to say why he is upset. I don't feel like anything intimate. NOT IN THE MOOD! Told him, but I am still suppose to do something, no matter I am hurting-will explain. And he is supposedly in pain too but still wanting intimate play. I have a question, if you are passing kidney stones and have pain from that, how can you be "in the mood"? My pain comes from my big toe. Sounds funny-specifically-my toe nail. A couple of months ago, B ran over my toe with his wheel chair. It didn't hit my toe directly, so I didn't think much of it. My toe nail looked like it got bruised, so I just was waiting it out. Yeah, right. This weekend the toenail caught in my sheets and just about tore off-not quite. The right side is still attached, but nothing else is. It is being held in place with bandaids now. I am calling podiatrist today. Toe hurt last night when I got home. B wanted to remove toenail himself, and even tried-then saw it was still attached. He wouldn't believe me. (Too much walking/standing makes it hurt more!) I know pain affects my emotional state. I don't want to play. Am I wired differently than others? I don't think so. I like being held and comforted, but it stops there. Sex is the furthest thing from my mind, in fact, that part of me seems to shut down totally. B doesn't get that. So last night was a pouting night. That's the best way to describe it. I live with a 4 year old. And he doesn't want to say why he is pouting cause it will come out bad. The pouting is going on till this morning where everything I say is said wrong or with an attitude. Thanks for letting me vent. I know it is bad when I am willing to eat celery at 6:45 in the morning to satisfy emotional eating craving. Though celery leaves are a little bitter that early!!LOL!!!! I am doing fine, Nerves are fine. Deep breathing works. So does the crunch crunch crunch of celery!!! Read/Post Comments (8) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top