Well first things first, my PT has me sleeping on my back on a triangle shaped pillow. I have to lower my work computer by about 3 inches, (will need to get the proper people to do that), I cannot read, crochet or knit without my work being propped up in front of me. I have to keep my neck upright-not bent over! Yikes, PT says that has been making situation worse. All that reading! And typing on my phone is really bad.. My head gets bent really over that one!!! Those of you who took typing in school remember the position, back straight, head up and forward, shoulders back and relaxed, feet flat- well that's what I am suppose to be sitting like all the time. He even gave me a picture.

Next on to news, I came down the elevator to the lobby of the building to see B reading "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". In 33 years, I have never seen him read a relationship book, even when he has said he would. A co-worker advised him that this book helped him and his wife. Uh, I mentioned that book months ago along with a couple of others. One we bought and he has and has not read yet. Ok, is this for show or not. He did make a point of show and tell to the MC.

MC-well that was interesting. She asked how we were doing, and asked me first. I told her so-so and that I could not do the homework. That I spent Sunday crying about it. She asked why I couldnt do the homework, and I told her. I was "all out". I had given for 33 years. She asked for examples. And I told her. Every relationship talk from church leaders, every womans organization help, every single thing I could do, I did. And I am empty. And while B was doing my and his laundry and then coming in and doing dishes, all I could do was sit on the couch and watch TV and cry.

She had us face each other for the next part.

Then she had B and I talk about how we met-with me going first. So I started with how I had two nervous breakdowns in military career and why. (perfectionist and put in job where on paper lowered 2 grades but responsibilities not changed) She said they were crazy. Good thing this woman is older and lived through history we did. Then I said how we met and how B was into this one girl and only talked about her, but we talked. But I didn't do anything cause he was into her. Until I came back from my grandfather's funeral, and girl had gone AWOl on B's money.

B's recollection of me was being able to talk to me about anything. And my eyes. and talking. And back then we could talk about anything. It wasn't about sex. In fact sex wasn't done until we got married.

Then she brought out a communications piece. It shows the infinity symbol and has how each partner may be feeling during a conversation. She's saying the partnership may not be the problem, the way we communicate may be. She also gave us a reading from Gottman to go through. I have read this before and usually follow it.

The next homework assignment is for each of us to list the 5 most important things to us. And discuss them. I said using the Gottman sheet would probably be part of the homework and she said yes.

We are meeting next Tuesday at 8pm. She's making an extra effort to come back into DC. She doesn't want us to meet with her individually yet. She said we need to get onto stronger joint ground first. She got it that I am done if things are not turning around FAST.

I think that if our problems were just communication issues, this would be real easy. I think it will come to light soon that it is not. B cannot keep up his nice guy image for much longer with her. It cracked a little, I think, when he handed her a 3 page typed packet. This was his copy of the homework. I didn't read it, but to me, it read as if it wasn't honest. But, maybe it was the most honest thing he could have done. It was his true self.

I am writing stuff down to discuss with her when we have our 1 on 1. But that may be awhile yet. And I will probably seek your help for any things I need to remember about too.