last night was MC. It started of weird, she asked how we were doing and I told her about the shingles-her husband has had it. She asked where I had it and I told her the three areas. She had never heard of it spread like that, I told her it could even be around eyes and ears-in those cases they worry cause of lose of sight/hearing. So, I am lucky. Of course, B chimed in about his case of shingles and how bad he was when he had it-then he went on to kidney stones. I don't know how he segues into that, but she cut him off with, "that's interesting, but we are her to work on other things...clever woman!

Then she asked how the week went. I told her that I really worked on giving B what he needed to feel loved-quality time. Lots of talking, listening every day. Words of affirmation. And he agreed, it helps him feel connected and loved. I also told her about the love language I need-Gifts and how I need it. In detail. She got it. B seemed to get it too. We will see.

The next exercise was interesting. She had me tell B several things that I love when he does and several that hurt me. I picked fairly easy things. I love when he wakes me up and gives me a gentle kiss on the forehead in the morning. I love when he makes supper at night. I love when he cleans the litter box 3 times day, I hurt when he uses my affection for the cat against me. The MC asked what he heard when I said all of that, and B went flowery with words. MC had to rein him in and said, "No, what did she say?" It took a bit for B to reply. Then explained that the cat issue was about how I seemed to really pat the cat more when talking to him. (self comforting and she was comforting me during stress)

Then it was B's turn. He loves it when I look at him with a twinkle in my eye. He loves it when I am close to him on the couch and talking to him. I am the other part of him. He hurts to think that this may not continue. And he started crying.

When MC asked me what B said, I simply answered, "He said that I am ying to his yang and visa versa." She said you are right. Is there anything you would like to say? I said yes, that it hurt that he did not trust me after 32 years to keep my word about the marriage counseling. And it has been working in many ways..we are getting closer. Just because I am not moving towards intimacy as fast as he wants does not mean its not working! But it hurts that he's saying its not working and not trusting me.

MC said Thank you for being honest. Looked at B, B just started crying again. That's when MC said to me," he can't process more. His logical mind is not working on this, it is all emotion. He is stuck in the past and we have to work on that to move forward. B, We will need to start EMDR sooner than later. Things in your past are working against you now." B had a blank look in his eyes. I told him, "remember when I had a flashback about 'Bunny' (foster home) and you had to hold me and calm me for about two hours?" He nodded. "Your brain is doing something like that right now. EMDR will help work around that and process those memories so that you can move forward."

The MC seemed relieved that I could give a basic explaination that calmed B down. He was getting a little off. I am so glad that he did that in her office. No arguments, just the emotional bit-off the scale high. She saw it.

Assignment this week is just to practice "I" communication skills. Basic stuff. And Love language stuff. You know, the easy stuff.

Also a she wants us to buy a book-I gave the info to B. But the author practices EFT. do not know what initials stand for. I am sure I will learn.

Was calm night at home. Slept well, but tylenol 3 may have had something to do with that.

Found out this morning that the meds and coffee do not agree with each other.