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Al Qaeda Steals Kerry's Hair
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Esteemed blogger The Poor Man makes some pointed observations on the most recent Al Qaeda website threats:

Oh al-Qaeda, the greatest gift you could offer us would be to get someone else to write your monologues. We are going to "learn our lesson"? Our "gift for the holidays is on it's way [mwah-hah-hah-ha]"? One minute we're getting lectured on how labelling terrorist "evil" is simplistic, and the next minute Qaeda sends out threatening web posts which appear to have been ghost-written by Skeletor. This threat will, no doubt, be backed up by blowing up some more Africans. Can we have some better enemies, please?

Then he follows this up with the actual follow-through of the holiday threats:

DES MOINES (Reuters) Al-Qaeda activists released a statement this afternoon claiming that they have kidnapped respected US Senator and possible presidential candidate John Kerry's hair, and are holding it hostage at an undisclosed SuperCuts.

No, dear god. No.

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