So I'm watching these two guys argue last night on The O'Reilly Factor about Louisiana's law that prohibits oral and anal sex. Yeah, that's right, folks. There's still a law on the Louisiana books that prohibits oral or anal sex, heterosexual, homosexual, whatever. Great, huh?

So I was searching around on the net and found this site, called Sodomy Laws.

Have a look. See how progressive Texas is. Gee, we only have sodomy laws between homosexuals.

Good grief.

Here is the actual statute from Texas law:

(1) "Deviate sexual intercourse" means:

(A) any contact between any part of the genitals of one person and the mouth or anus of another person; or

(B) the penetration of the genitals or the anus of another person with an object.

(2) "Sexual contact" means any touching of the anus, breast, or any part of the genitals of another person with intent to arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person.

(3) "Sexual intercourse" means any penetration of the female sex organ by the male sex organ.

Sec. 21.06. Homosexual Conduct.

(a) A person commits an offense if he engages in deviate sexual intercourse with another individual of the same sex.

(b) An offense under this section is a Class C misdemeanor.

I'm a little confused. Does the definition section only apply to the homosexual conduct section? Or is it illegal for me to lick a woman's booty (or for her to lick mine?)? Likewise, is it illegal in Texas for me to penetrate my girlfriend with a banana?

Please, any lawyers help me out here. Here I thought I was a law-abiding citizen, but it turns out I may well not be.

Such behavior is only a misdemeanor in Texas, which is still stupid, but it sounds like anal sex between any two individuals in Louisiana is a felony.

I ask again: What century is this?