I think I'd rather talk about the most recent issue of The Onion, rather than last night's speech. For one, there's a pretty funny lead article about U.N. Inspectors and Willy Wonka. The fake horoscopes are usually pretty funny too.

Oh, okay, I'll talk about the President's speech. I agreed with him on Iraq...you already knew that. But nearly everything else sucked.

He starts out talking about how Washington needs to show some fiscal responsibility. Then he promises baskets of cash for tons of new initiatives. Huh? Is he also proposing to change the fundamental laws of mathematics in order to pay for all this stuff?

Hydrogen cell technology sounds good, but excuse me if I remain skeptical. He proposed what...1.2 billion for the effort? All right. That sounds like a lot, but just how promising is this technology? I honestly don't know enough about it. I'll read up a bit on that one.

AIDS in Africa. He's right that more needs to be done to help with treatment, but I'm sick of people treating AIDS as if it's Polio. It's not. The greatest tragedy of the AIDS epidemic is its inherent preventability. It's spreading like wildfire throughout Africa, now China, and many other parts of the world, and it's wholly preventable. World leaders need to have the guts to say that more money is going to be spent on education, awareness, and condoms. Tackling treatment alone, while million more become infected is insane policy.

Improved drug treatment for addicted Americans? Encouraging more Americans to mentor? Sure, these sounded good.

But then he had to bring up faith-based initiatives. Yuck. I don't want my tax money going to religious charities. Period. It's bullshit. In fact, the speech was laden with religiosity, and I cringed with every reference. We're not all "people of faith", President Bush. Quite a few, but not enough of us, are people of reason and common sense.

And then there was the Missile Defense program. Groan. Totally unfeasible technology that sounds good. Oh, we're going to have a shield. Don't we all feel safer? Well no, 'cause the goddamn thing will never work.

So if you couldn't tell by now, I wouldn't give the speech very high marks. I agree with the President on Iraq, but very little else.

I want to agree with him on domestic spending issues. But the damned Republicans, who are supposed to be for small government and fiscal responsibility are about as bad as the Democrats when it comes to promising expensive programs and buttloads of cash. So let me get this straight...we're going to cut taxes (which I'm in favor of), but we're also going to give all the old people free pills. How's that gonna happen?

I reiterate my desire for a decent third party, one that combines the true ideals of limited government with the value for individual liberties. Can I have one for Christmas next year?