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Charge of the Lame-Ass Brigade
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Here's a story from the Washington Post about Dean Kamen, inventor of one of the dumbest devices ever made, lobbying the Federal government for Segway contracts.

Kamen, the multimillionaire creator of the futuristic vehicle, is lobbying the government to buy some of the self-balancing electric devices so U.S. Special Forces can scoot into battle and rangers can zip through national parks.

Imagine the fear that our Special Forces would strike into the hearts of our enemies, as a wave of these bore down upon them.

The article goes on to say:

He said the Special Forces have tested Segways to transport the "infantry soldier of the future." Toohey said the Segway can traverse almost any terrain -- including desert sands -- and travel over land mines without detonating them.

Forgive me for being skeptical, but this thing weighs, what, well over 500 lbs. with a rider. And it can roll over land mines without detonating them? How? Has this been tested with live munitions?

As for traversing "almost any terrain", I'm sure the Segway would have worked well in the rice paddies of Vietnam. And even if it rode smoothly over sand, would you want your head sticking up a full foot higher while on patrol in enemy territory? (Or maybe you ride around crouched.)

Shit, it's just such a dumbass idea. I certainly hope none of my tax dollars are spent on Segways for troops. Luckily, I don't think Donald Rumsfeld is quite this stupid.

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