Silly Thinking

From Hollywood!



It's "The Marlon Brando Show". Starring Marlon Brando!



Marlon's guests tonight:


Ex-Presidential Candidate HOWARD DEAN!


And Actress MEG RYAN!


with Sy Henderson and The Marlon Brando Orchestra.


I'm Leonard Peltier.

And now a man who's going to Wisconsin! Delaware! Oregon! California! And going to New Mexico!, New York!, Washington, and his own private island...
MARLON BRANDO!!!!!




MB: Thank you! Thank you ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you. Please stop it. Stop that right now.
You're to kind. Thank you.
Hello again everyone and welcome to our show.
It's been quite a week.
Howard Dean, you know he's on our show tonight, Howard Dean left his Presidential bid and withdrew from the Democratic race.
He got a little emotional while running for President.
Emotional? I haven't seen a guy get that red in the face since I worked for Harry Cohen at Columbia and I knocked up Eva Marie Saint!




MB: And what about Martha Stewart? Martha Stewart is on trial for murder or something and the prosecution accused her of trying to bribe the judge.
Can you believe it? Bribe the judge. It turns out Martha didn't think it was a bribe. She said the only reason she sent the judge a gavel cozy was his gavel was noisy.
A gavel cozy... I just read 'em folks.




And what about that crazy weather across the country?


LP: Yes!


MB: Yeah it's crazy. I was in New York the other day and saw some squirrels wearing long johns while they stored thier nuts!
I haven't worn longjohns while storing my nuts since I banged Eva Marie Saint!




MB: Is he over there? Yes. Sy Henderson and The Marlon Brando Orchestra...




MB: Well, we've got a big show tonight don't we Len?


LP: Yes. Big show.


MB: Some nights I say that and it's not true but tonight we've got the real deal. Meg Ryan is here...




MB: She's in a new movie "Against The Ropes" and Howard Dean is on the show...




MB: Ladies and Gentleman, Sy Henderson and his Orchestra!




MB: Now let's look into Marlon's Mail Bag!




MB: Letter number one: 'Mister Brando, do you still have your Oscar?' signed Lillian Flywheel in Wheeling West Virginia.
That's a good question Lillian. We thought we'd answer this one personally so we sent Leonard out there to answer this one. Roll it.

---

LP: Yes! I'm here in Wheeling West Virginia to answer this letter. There's Lillian's house. I'm going to the door.

(Knock knock knock)


Lillian (behind the door); Yes?


LP: Lillian, it's Leonard Peltier from "The Marlon Brando Show"...


LF: Oh Leonard Pelter! I can't believe it. I love Marlon Brando! Oh my gosh I can't believe it!


LP: Yes! You sent us a letter about Marlon's Oscar?


LF: I can't believe your really here! Yes I did...


LP: Well, Marlon wanted me to come out here and answer it personally...


LF: Oh my gosh! Really?


LP: Uhh huh. You asked us a question, wrote it in. You asked, "Do you still have your Oscar?" right?


LF I can't believe it. Yes.


LP: Well Marlon says it's none of you damn business.


LF:...


LP: Thanks. By.


LF:...

---

MB: Ha ha ha ha. That's not right. Crazy isn't it? Letter number two: 'Mister Brando, do you pay taxes?' Billy Washburn in Nugget, Arizona.
Well Billy I'm like every other American and yes I do. But one of our stage hands. Mike Fitzhugh has some tax tips. Mike?


MF: Hi, Marlon.


MB: You've got some tax tips..


MF: Yes, Mister Brando. Billy, if you have a lot of taxes to pay do what I do. Every year I get a big knife like this and cut off my left testicle and send it to the IRS. They never bother me after that.


MB: UUUuyyygghhh! Mike that's disgusting.


MF: It hurts. But that's tax free living my friend.




MB: Meg Ryan!


MR: Hi! Hi! Hi!


MB: Meg Ryan. Look at you. You're just the prettiest little thing in the whole world.


MR: Thank you, Marlon.


MB: No, I mean it. You're as cute as a little lamb.


MR: Well... thanks.


MR: How do you do it?


MR: Do what?


MB: Stay so cute. I mean your no spring chicken anymore. I mean those days of you doing whole movies on the phone with Tom Hanks are over.


MR: Well, I exercise and eat right and...


MB: What happened to your career? One day your America's sweetheart and the next day you can't get arrested. Although I'd arrest you because you just so darn great!




MR: uhh, well my career has ups and downs. You understand that.


MB: My career lately has been downs with an up here and there.
Now what about this movie. You're a fighter?


MR: No, I'm a fight promoter...


MB: You're the agent. The movie's about an agent?


MR Well, yeah.


MB: So you've got fighters... atheletes. And the movie is about the agent. I thought you got in the ring with big fighters.


MR: well I have to fight my way into a man's world....


MB: You are so cute and sexy all you have to do is ask little Meg. You don't have to fight. You are one beautiful chick.




MB: Howard Dean.


HD: Even here I come in second.


MB: I'll tell the jokes.


HD: Okay, hi Marlon. It's great to be here.


MB: Howard Dean!


HD: It's great to be here. I admire your films.


MB: Yeah?


HD: No, I really do.


MB: Which ones?


HD: Oh. Well...


MB: Come on which ones.


MR: I love "The Godfather".


MB: You can love anyone you want to little cute sweet and sexy Meg Ryan.


HD: Uhh. "The Appalosa".


MB: What the hell. "The Appalosa"? With the horses? That one?


HD: Yeah, My wife and I saw that on TV not so long ago and loved it.


MB: Your wife? Were you in the same room?


HD: Ha. Yes. We do live together.


MB: That's a suprise... Kidding. Now what the hell happened to you? You unravelled like one of my shirts after a big dinner.


HD: Ha. No we had great grass roots support and the corporate media and the Democratic Party worked to undermine my campaign.


MB: Really? How much did they pay you to scream at everyone and look pissed off all the time?


HD: I made some mistakes.


MB: Howard Dean if you would have been that honest during the campaign you'd still be in it.


HD: Hey, I tried to get my message out there but the corporate media--


MB: Oh my God shut up and look at Meg Ryan. Isn't she cute?


HD: Yes she is. You are.


MR: Thanks.


MB: I want to thank my guest's: cute and sexy and beautiful Meg Ryan... and bonehead Howard Dean.
Good night everybody!


LP: "The Marlon Brando Show" is a Mar-Bran Jim-Far WorldWide Pants, Dug-Wug, Harpo Productions Production. Mister Brando's clothes by Aloha Swimwear.
This blog was recorded.