Silly Thinking

This is "Silly Thinking" BROKEN NEWS.

Nader And The Dog.

From our New York World News Headquarters in New York here is Connie Chung.


CC: Good morning. Ralph Nader made it official today that he is entering the race for President of The United States.




CC: Nader does not have the backing of the Green Party and is running as an independent.
According to New Mexico governor Richardson: "The Green's aren't backing him, his friends urged him not to do it. It's all about himself."
Ralph Nader says he wants to bring new ideas to the presidential race and the two parties are alike, a theme he beat to death in his last presidential bid that ended up with George W. Bush gaining access to Nuclear weapons.




CC: Silly Thinking has confirmed that Ralph Nader is insane and pays no attention to the world or this country in between his ridiculous Presidential campaigns.

Ralph Nader

Further, Silly Thinking has confirmed exclusivley that, the former consumer watchdog, whose claim to fame was driving a Chevrolet Corvair into a wall, is from the planet Neptune and has vowed to destroy our planet.
He has yet to reveal a vice presidential running mate but Silly Thinking has completed a list of possible choices:


1. Dick Cheney. (Nader claims to have no knowledge of the fact that Cheney is the current vice president.)


2. Michael Jackson. (Who Nader thinks will get the swing vote and says, quote, "He's a cute little guy.")


3. Harry Truman. (Dead.)


4. The Grinch. (Nader says he will help Green Party voters crossover.)


5. Roy. (of Zigfried and Roy. Nader thinks he's been a solid number two man for years.)


CC: In other news: President Bush killed his dog Spot yesterday after recieving 'hard intelligence' that the family pet was hiding weapons of mass destruction in his collar.



After the dog's death the collar was found to be clean of any weapons. The President said that the dog was certainly engaged in weapons program related activities and formed a bi-partisan commision (headed by conservative Dan Quayle and liberal Joe Lieberman- who said "I'm proud to rip this dog open") to search the dog for other possible hiding places.
"The dog was a killer and even though he didn't kill anyone and no weapons have been found so far... it was the right decision to kill him. We are safer because of Spot's death. We have a long way to go.." said the President.
Reaction to the death has been along party lines.


John Kerry, on the stump, said "It....is....just like this....President................................ to kill.......... house.... pets. If the Republicans....want to.......kill... house pets. My record.......stands. Bring it on!"


Secretary of State Colin Powell showed up unannounced at the UN with a vial of dog piss this afternoon. Speaking to reporters after the presentation Mr. Powell said, "This proves the President can make me do absolutely anything."

Oddly, former Presidential candidate Howard Dean had this to say when asked about the President's decision:


"I support killing Spot. There was just no other way. And now their going to The spleen, the liver, the heart, thier going to the paws, the intestines, the buttocks and then thier going back to the White House. YEEEEEHAAAAWWWW!"


Independent candidate Ralph Nader said the killing proved that the two party system doesn't work. Nader went on to complain that nobody would let him debate the issues, or listen to him in any way at all.

We'll have more on these unimportant stories as events warrant. For now, this is Connie Chung in New York, see you later.

This has been Silly Thinking BROKEN NEWS.

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Jim Farris presents Silly Thinking with Douglas Lain.
Douglas Lain has it and won't return it. So we don't have it anymore. It was here though.