Silly Thinking
*with Jim Farris*
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BREAKING NEWS: SUPER SUPER TUESDAY: GEORGIA TOO CLOSE TO CALL, OHIO TO KERRY
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THIS IS SILLY THINKING BREAKING NEWS.
SUPER SUPER TUESDAY: GEORGIA TO CLOSE TO CALL. OHIO GOES TO KERRY
From our New York World News Campaign Headquarters in New York, here is Connie Chung.
CC: Good evening and welcome to our Silly Thinking Super super Tuesday coverage.
At this hour Georgia, an open primary where Republicans and independents can vote, is to close to call. On the phone with us is Bill Pullman, the man who played the President in the movie “Independence Day” at our data desk. Bill what does the data say?
BP: The data shows that democrats overwhelmingly voted for John Kerry while Republicans and Independents went for Edwards.
CC: Bill, Ohio just closed it’s polls and Silly Thinking declares John Kerry the winner. This must be a blow for Edwards.
BP: Yes Connie, it is. He poured a lot of time and money in Ohio. His message about trade should have resonated there but as we can see they went for Kerry. Must hurt.
CC: Painful. It must be painful for the smiling southerner who seems to have married beneath him and came from hard working blue collars to maybe contemplating suicide tonight. Bill?
BP: Uhh… well… Connie, I don’t think Edwards is….
CC: I have to interrupt you, President Clinton. We are getting hard numbers in from Vermont, and Silly Thinking is now projecting that Howard Dean will be the winner in his home state.
Howard Dean? At our analysis desk we have Doctor Henry Kissinger.
Dr. Kissinger good evening.
DHK: Hello, sveetheart.
CC: Oh, Doctor.
DHK: Vell my little poopsy doodle. Doctor Dean is finally going to win a primary and it’s perfect that he vill do dat after he quits.
Nixon quit, but he came back.
CC: Do you think Howard Dean will come back. Is that what you’re saying?
DHK Vut? Are you nuts poopsy doodle? He’s dead. I mean politically dead. I mean he’s out. So out. He’s dead.
CC: Interesting. Thank you Doctor and Bill Clinton. We will be back when more breaking news breaks and more states close and more vital data will come rushing in. Stay with us.
This has been SILLY THINKING BREAKING NEWS.
Jim Farris presents Silly Thinking with Douglas Lain.
It really is!
SUPER SUPER TUESDAY: GEORGIA TO CLOSE TO CALL. OHIO GOES TO KERRY
From our New York World News Campaign Headquarters in New York, here is Connie Chung.
CC: Good evening and welcome to our Silly Thinking Super super Tuesday coverage.
At this hour Georgia, an open primary where Republicans and independents can vote, is to close to call. On the phone with us is Bill Pullman, the man who played the President in the movie “Independence Day” at our data desk. Bill what does the data say?
BP: The data shows that democrats overwhelmingly voted for John Kerry while Republicans and Independents went for Edwards.
CC: Bill, Ohio just closed it’s polls and Silly Thinking declares John Kerry the winner. This must be a blow for Edwards.
BP: Yes Connie, it is. He poured a lot of time and money in Ohio. His message about trade should have resonated there but as we can see they went for Kerry. Must hurt.
CC: Painful. It must be painful for the smiling southerner who seems to have married beneath him and came from hard working blue collars to maybe contemplating suicide tonight. Bill?
BP: Uhh… well… Connie, I don’t think Edwards is….
CC: I have to interrupt you, President Clinton. We are getting hard numbers in from Vermont, and Silly Thinking is now projecting that Howard Dean will be the winner in his home state.
Howard Dean? At our analysis desk we have Doctor Henry Kissinger.
Dr. Kissinger good evening.
DHK: Hello, sveetheart.
CC: Oh, Doctor.
DHK: Vell my little poopsy doodle. Doctor Dean is finally going to win a primary and it’s perfect that he vill do dat after he quits.
Nixon quit, but he came back.
CC: Do you think Howard Dean will come back. Is that what you’re saying?
DHK Vut? Are you nuts poopsy doodle? He’s dead. I mean politically dead. I mean he’s out. So out. He’s dead.
CC: Interesting. Thank you Doctor and Bill Clinton. We will be back when more breaking news breaks and more states close and more vital data will come rushing in. Stay with us.
This has been SILLY THINKING BREAKING NEWS.
Jim Farris presents Silly Thinking with Douglas Lain.
It really is!
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