Silly Thinking

DA: And now it�s time for Silly Thinking�s internet award winning feature �A Few Moments With Dead Celebrities�.

Now it�s an honor to introduce a great American President. A man of courage and conviction. The great emancipator himself�
Abraham Lincoln!!

AL: Yes, yes. It is I. Be seated and thank you. Thank you all.

DA: It is indeed and honor to be with you today, Mister President.

AL: I know it is.

DA: Mister Lincoln, we�re all familiar with your great achievements during your life time. I don�t want to bore you with a list of those but�

AL: No, please do. I would be honored to hear.

DA: Oh. Well, freeing the slaves and successfully winning the civil war come to mind.

AL: Yes, yes, thank you. Never had much affection for the black man though. I mean for an inferior race they do alright, I guess. But that war was something. It pained me but I had to do it to preserve the union! Yes, that�s what it was.

DA: Uh huh. Are you keeping an eye on the current situation in the United States?

AL: I hold these truths to be self evident. Mister George W. Bus is a disgrace to the office of the President. You know I used to have vivid dreams as President and I would share them with my cabinet. I don�t dream anymore, because I don�t sleep anymore you see. But if I did, I would dream that Mister Bus was not President. That is the truth. Indeed, that is what I would dream.

DA: Mister President, an urban legend has arisen over the years that you were gay. Early in your law practice you wrote of staying in inn�s and hotel�s where you would sleep with other men. Historians and scholars have tried to put this in perspective by explaining that that was not uncommon in your time. But rumors persist. Could you address this question of your sexuality?

AL: What the hell is gay?

DA: Homosexual. A man who prefers having sexual relations with other men.

AL: I was the President of the United States, sir! I cannot even believe you would form that question much less ask it. I don�t know what you are talking about.
I did travel to many towns when I practiced law. Many times I did stay in rooms with other men, for financial purposes. I was poor and it was cheaper that way.

DA: Of course.

AL: Yes. And I did suck cock.

DA: Of cour� I�m sorry what did you say?

AL: Suck cock. I believe it is what you say these days when one sucks another one�s cock. Is it not?

DA: Uhh. Yes, Mister President Lincoln.

AL: Yes. But just to keep warm.

DA: You.. uhm, uhh, let�s move on. What do you do in the after life?

AL: I spend my days on a phony looking planet rolling foam rubber rocks around with a giant stone monster, this bad actor in his pajama�s (I guess it�s my curse to be around bad actors,) and a smarty pants from the planet Vulcan.

DA: OK then. Thank you for joining us today and speaking with such candor.

AL: Sir, I accept your apology and the pleasure was all mine.

DA: Alrighty. Abe Lincoln. My goodness. Well join us tomorrow when we will be back on the five second delay.

Jim Farris presents Silly Thinking with Douglas Lain.
Jim Farris presents Silly Thinking with Douglas Lain is not responsible for the content or opinions in the preceding program.




	Silly Thinking with Jim Farris Home Get Email Updates Admin Password Remember Me 2011594 Curiosities served Share on Facebook				2004-03-13 10:31 AM The Lincoln log Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (0) DA: And now it�s time for Silly Thinking�s internet award winning feature �A Few Moments With Dead Celebrities�. Now it�s an honor to introduce a great American President. A man of courage and conviction. The great emancipator himself� Abraham Lincoln!! AL: Yes, yes. It is I. Be seated and thank you. Thank you all. DA: It is indeed and honor to be with you today, Mister President. AL: I know it is. DA: Mister Lincoln, we�re all familiar with your great achievements during your life time. I don�t want to bore you with a list of those but� AL: No, please do. I would be honored to hear. DA: Oh. Well, freeing the slaves and successfully winning the civil war come to mind. AL: Yes, yes, thank you. Never had much affection for the black man though. I mean for an inferior race they do alright, I guess. But that war was something. It pained me but I had to do it to preserve the union! Yes, that�s what it was. DA: Uh huh. Are you keeping an eye on the current situation in the United States? AL: I hold these truths to be self evident. Mister George W. Bus is a disgrace to the office of the President. You know I used to have vivid dreams as President and I would share them with my cabinet. I don�t dream anymore, because I don�t sleep anymore you see. But if I did, I would dream that Mister Bus was not President. That is the truth. Indeed, that is what I would dream. DA: Mister President, an urban legend has arisen over the years that you were gay. Early in your law practice you wrote of staying in inn�s and hotel�s where you would sleep with other men. Historians and scholars have tried to put this in perspective by explaining that that was not uncommon in your time. But rumors persist. Could you address this question of your sexuality? AL: What the hell is gay? DA: Homosexual. A man who prefers having sexual relations with other men. AL: I was the President of the United States, sir! I cannot even believe you would form that question much less ask it. I don�t know what you are talking about. I did travel to many towns when I practiced law. Many times I did stay in rooms with other men, for financial purposes. I was poor and it was cheaper that way. DA: Of course. AL: Yes. And I did suck cock. DA: Of cour� I�m sorry what did you say? AL: Suck cock. I believe it is what you say these days when one sucks another one�s cock. Is it not? DA: Uhh. Yes, Mister President Lincoln. AL: Yes. But just to keep warm. DA: You.. uhm, uhh, let�s move on. What do you do in the after life? AL: I spend my days on a phony looking planet rolling foam rubber rocks around with a giant stone monster, this bad actor in his pajama�s (I guess it�s my curse to be around bad actors,) and a smarty pants from the planet Vulcan. DA: OK then. Thank you for joining us today and speaking with such candor. AL: Sir, I accept your apology and the pleasure was all mine. DA: Alrighty. Abe Lincoln. My goodness. Well join us tomorrow when we will be back on the five second delay. Jim Farris presents Silly Thinking with Douglas Lain. Jim Farris presents Silly Thinking with Douglas Lain is not responsible for the content or opinions in the preceding program. Read/Post Comments (0) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top