Silly Thinking

DA: And now it’s time for our Silly Thinking internet award winning feature “A Few Moments with Dead Celebrities”.

Ladies and gentlemen here is a man who changed the face of the globe. A man who wrecked havoc and despair everywhere. An insane world leader who almost destroyed an entire race of people.
Adolph Hitler.


AH: Hello.


DA: Mister Hitler, welcome .


AH: Yeah, thanks a lot.


DA: Hitler, you’ve been dead for quite a while now. When you reflect back, what do you think of your life on earth?


AH: Yeah, well, you know. I did what I could. You know? I’m not really a bad guy. I just got carried away. I went a little funny in the head.


DA: You wiped out millions of lives and created a devastating war…


AH: Yeah, well. Sorry about that.


DA: Sorry about that? That’s all you can say?


AH: My bad.


DA: Hitler, do you regret your actions?


AH: Uhmm. Sure. Yeah. I made mistakes. We all do. I shouldn’t of killed all those Jews. I mean who knew?


DA: Who knew. Who knew that killing an entire race of people was a bad thing? Everybody knew that was bad.


AH: I had lotsa of support when I started. American bankers liked me. Herbert Walker, you know him? Very close to your Presidents Bush. George Senior was named after Herbert Walker you know? He liked me. We did business together and he thought my ideas were good. Good. He liked them.


DA: Do you stay abreast of world affairs now?


AH: Oh yes. I love it. I think George Bush is the greatest President America has ever had. I love that guy. And Tony Blair. What a great guy! Not like that pig Churchill at all.
And how about Spain! What a great week for them.
And the middle east. Heaven. Sheer heaven. Everyone fighting, ethnic cleansing, blood in the streets and in the middle of it all is America killing and being killed. I love it!


DA: So you…


AH: And Sadaam! He hid in a hole but didn’t kill himself. What a great looser. I love Sadaam, but he should have killed himself. You know I visited him in his hole and tried to convince him to kill himself. He babbled on and on about how America broke international law. Can you believe it? What a character.


DA: So you like the world these days?


AH: Come on! I’m Hitler for Christ’s sake! Of course I love it now. I mean it’s like I won the war.
Do I like the world? What a stupid question.


DA: Well thank you for being with us…


AH: Martha Stewart reminds me of Eva you know. Everything just so, what a woman.


DA: OK. Thank you Hitler…


AH: And Mel Gibson! My hero! He hates the Jews! Mad Max hates the Jew!. Mad Max hates the Jews!


DA: Stop that.


AH: I thought he was great in “Lethal Weapon Four” but now with this Jew thing. And his father? What a guy. I mean people can be openly racist again and world leaders just go attack other countries with no justification at all. It’s like the good old days.
Everyone seems to have forgotten what World War 2 was all about. It’s great.


DA: OK your times up…


AH: And America is ignoring it’s own constitution and suppressing basic human rights. What a country! All the people do is play Donkey Kong all day while mad leaders start wars. I wish we would have had computer games.. and we would have to but Gerbils said no. That weenie.


DA: We’ll be back next week.


AH: Did I mention Martha Stewart?

---

Jim Farris presents Silly Thinking with Douglas Lain.
You will be entertained!