Silly Thinking*with Jim Farris* 2011627 Curiosities served |
2004-04-15 2:39 AM Marlon Brando Previous Entry :: Next Entry Marlon BrandoTonight! Senior White House Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice! Actor/Director Mel Gibson! “Hellboy” star Ron Perlman! Musical guest, Forthright! With DJ X Jazzy Goldstein! I’m Len Peltier. And now the chairman of our committee! MARLON BRANDO!!!!! MB: Thank you, Bona Sera dear ones. Thank you ladies and gentlemen. God bless you simple spirits. God bless you. Thank you. Thank you. Wow! What a show we’ve got for you tonight, right Len? LP: It looks like a good one, Yes! MB: My God. Before we get started I just want to thank Johnny Depp and all my dear friends for visiting with us on the show last week. It was my birthday and Johnny hosted and Liz Taylor and Michael, and that ass wipe King, big strong Val, Coppola, that pimp, and Angie Dickinson… my God is she beautiful. Didn’t you think she was beautiful Len? LP: Beautiful Angie Dickinson. Yes! MB: There is some prime acreage my friend. And that weirdo Crispy Critters. Who the hell was that Len? LP: Crispin Glover. MB: Yeah, what the hell is that guy? LP: I don’t know. Very weird. MB: Well it was wonderful and I was deeply moved. Yeah, he’s a freak of nature or somethin’. Candy Rice. CR: Thank you. Thank you Mister Brando. MB: Marlon, please. CR: Marlon. MB: Now, I used to know a stripper named Candy Rice. You're not her, right? CR: Ha ha. No. It’s Condi Rice. Short for Condoleezza. MB: Ha. I knew that darling. It was a little joke. CR: … MB: Now what the hell happened? Let me see if I got this right. You people got a briefing called “We will Bomb the Country Tomorrow” and you ignored it. CR: Ha ha. No. We had a historical document called… MB: Now wait a minute Condo. You got like… what? The Declaration of Independence or something? CR: Ha ha. No. I think your referring to the President’s Daily Brief entitled “Ben Laden Will Attack in The United States” and… MB: Candy, you got a document called “Ben Laden Will Attack the U.S.” and you call that The Declaration of Independence and then you ignored it? What are you.. some kind of a nut? CR: Ha ha. Well… no. I mean… well… it was not a document that told us that this would happen… MB: The document called “bin Laden Attacks America” did not tell you he would attack America. What was it recipes or something? CR: It was a historic document that… MB: Oh my God. You're back to that? And you advise the President on Security? CR: Ha ha. Yes, but… MB: Ladies and Gentlemen, I advise you to get up slowly and head for the helicopters. Mel Gibson. MG: Hello Marlon. Condi, I think your doing a great job by the way. CR: Thank you. MB: Mel, you think she’s doing a great job? MG: Yeah, I do. MB: OK, buddy. Now Mel, you made that “Last Temptation of the Passion of Christ” movie? MG: “The Passion of The Christ”. MB: Yeah. Now, what the hell is that? It’s in Swahili or something? MG: Aramaic. MB: Yeah, something. And it’s just huge. I mean it’s doing big business. MG: Yeah. MB: And it’s anti-Semitic? MG: No it’s not. It’s historic. It’s all in the bible. The Jews killed Christ and no movie shows that. But it’s not anti-Semitic. MB: So it’s not a movie but a historic document? MG: Well in a matter of speaking it is. MB: Ok. Now I know why you think Candy’s doing a good job. MG: Ha ha. MB: And it’s based on the old testament? MG: The New Testament. MB: The one we don’t use anymore? MG: No. The new testament. MB: Right. Look, I just remembered I have a date at the heliport so I gotta go. Maybe you and Hellgirl there can go to a motel or something. Good night. LP: The Marlon Brando Historic Document is a Jim-Far, Mar-Bran, Doug-Wug, Harpo Productions Production. Marlon Brando’s wardrobe provided by Robot Tailors from the 21st Century. This blog is recorded. ST IS! Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top |
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