Silly Thinking*with Jim Farris* 2011671 Curiosities served |
2004-05-27 12:14 PM Marlon Brando Previous Entry :: Next Entry Marlon Brando!
Tonight! Star of the new movie “The Day After Tomorrow” Dennis Quaid! “American Idol” Winner Ruben Studdard! Musical guests: All There Is! with DJ X Jazzy Goldstein! I’m Len Peltier. And now our own American Idol… MARLON BRANDO!!!!! MB: Thank you dear ones. Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Dear sweet unknowing public. Thank you dear ones. Good evening everyone I am your humble host for the festivities tonight, Marlon Brando. And hello Leonard Peltier. LP: Good evening Mister Brando, everyone. MB: Hi ya Len. How’s everything with you? LP: Good! Good sir. Yourself? MB: I’m peaches and cream Len. Peaches and cream. DJ something, how are you? DJX: I am fine Mister Brando. MB: Good, you freak of nature. And speaking of freaks of nature, did you here the news Len? LP: What? What news sir? MB: Well it’s not news exactly, but it’s news to me. Our own little friend Doug Lain, you remember him Len? LP: Used to work here at ST? MB: He started Silly Think… something, anyway, yeah, he’s been on the show. LP: Yes! Used to be a big cheese here. MB: Now nothing, he went somewhere, something. Anyway he had those darling little children who did that monkey show, they were on that whorey awards show we did. LP: Yes! Whorey! Yes! MB: Yes, well he announced yesterday he’s having more children. LP: Yes! How many does he have already? MB: Six or seven, something. My God, we all wish him congratulations and everything. Douglas Lain and his wife, as they would say on the island, “They Fucky fucky too much..” LP: (laughing) Yes! Fucky fucky… yes! MB: They go at it more than Magoobi islander fucky fucky doll. LP: (laughing) What? MB: Oh, my dear Len. That’s what the islanders know as the gods of fertility. The Magoobi Islander Fucky fucky doll. LP: (can’t stop laughing): Yes! MB: Yes, what? Fucky fucky… (laughing) LP: (laughing) Yes… MB: Don’t get me started… anyway Douglas couldn’t talk to us today. I was told he’s in seclusion. Probably resting up. You know the lads exhausted, probably. LP: (laughing) Yes! MB: Well he probably is. Anyway we have his agent, Jim Farris, on the phone. Jim? You there? JF (on the phone): Hi Marlon! MB: Farris, you ever hear of the Fucky fucky dolls from Magoobi? JF: Well… I guess so. Do they look like Doug and Miriam? MB: I think they do. So how’s your boy holding up? JF: Well, Doug’s in shock and won’t talk to me. But I hear he mumbles a lot and is drooling. So he sounds about normal to me. MB: So how many kids will he have now? JF: Six, I think. MB: My God in Heaven. He’s worse than the uneducated tribesmen. JF: That’s a given Marlon. MB: Well give him our best, although it doesn’t sound like he needs it. JF: I will. MB: And tell him were going to talk about this new movie and global warming. Maybe he should watch. JF: Well, like I say I think he’s in shock. But I’ll pass it along. MB: Thank you my friend. Goodbye. JF: Thanks Mar… (Click Buzz) MB: Jim Farris on the phone. That guy is a whore isn’t he? LP: Yes! A whore. MB: maybe a pimp. Dennis Quaid. DQ: Hi. Hello Marlon, a pleasure. MB: Quaid. I love you in those “Vacation” movies. DQ: Thanks, that’s my brother though. MB: Oh Christ! There are two Quaids? DQ: Yeah, me and my brother. MB: Oh sorry. DQ: No, that happens all the time. MB: So were you Jerry Lee Lewis in that thing a few years ago? DQ: “Balls of Fire” Yeah, that was me. MB: You’re a cutie pie. So now your in this thing about the world coming to an end…. DQ: “The Day After Tomorrow”, yeah global warming causes climate shifts and a lot of the U.S. is wiped out. MB: Were doing all the wrong things aren’t we? This could happen? DQ: Well, I play a scientist in the movie, I really don’t know. I mean, it’s a movie. It’s entertainment. I mean, everything that happened in “The Godfather” or “Apocalypse” wasn’t real was it? MB: So you are saying we're doomed. DQ: Yeah, I think we're doomed. MB: Hear that Lain. This scientist says global warming is dooming us. My God in Heaven. DQ: Well, it opens tomorrow, and remember it’s supposed to be entertainment. It’s a movie. MB: Thank you doctor. I hope we survive. Ruben Studdard. RS: Thank you. Mister Brando, Dennis Quaid. Thank you. MB: Jesus Christ. You’re the biggest person in the world. RS: Ha ha. MB: I’m not kidding, you're enormous. RS: Well… MB: Oh lord! Don’t eat me Ruben Studdard! RS: Well, I gotta keep my strength up. MB: For what? What the hell are you going to do? Move elephants around? RS: Now come on. MB: All right. Now you won this “Amateur Hour” show or something. RS: I won last time. MB: Oh. You won. And now, what? Did you eat the winner this time? RS: Ha ha. No. Fantasia…. MB: If you fart were all dead. Good night. LP: Marlon Brando is a Jim-Far, Doug Wug, Mar-Bran, Harpo Productions production. Marlon Brando’s wardrobe by Close Knit Albino Tailors. This blog is recorded. ST IS! Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top |
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