Silly Thinking
*with Jim Farris*
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Four is Enough: What Would the Pope Do?
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Four is Enough!
Doug: I can't wait until I'm rich and famous and the revolution comes, but what if I can't have intercourse again?
Miriam: Is something bothering you honey?
Doug: I'm worried that I won't be able to get it up again, sweetheart.
Miriam: Now you know there is no touching until after you get the vasectomy.
Doug: But what if the doctor slips?
Miriam: Don't worry, honey. I know. Let's ask the Pope what he thinks.
Doug: But he's dead!
Miriam: We'll have a seance and speak to his spirit.
Doug: Where are the kids, by the way?
Miriam: Don't you remember? They went to Disneyland with your parents for this episode. Now let's call all of our friends over and have that seance.
Miriam: Mighty Pope, come to me. We need to talk to you about Doug's sperm. Answer us pope. Answer us!
Pope: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Doug: Pope, I have a question about getting a vasectomy.
Pope: What? Who let the dogs out?
Miriam: My husband has a question for you, Pope John Paul II. He's concerned about the consequences of a vasectomy.
Pope: What? You worried you won't be able to poke this hot thing anymore?
Doug: What did you say?
Miriam: Shut up and listen, honey.
Pope: Yeah, shut up and listen. As far as I'm concerned you've played hide the salami enough for one lifetime, but since that probably won't make you feel any better I'll just tell you what a competent doctor would tell you. After your vasectomy you'll be able to resume you regular rate of sexual intercourse within a week or so. So don't worry.
Doug: Should I go through with it, Pope?
Pope: Of course you should go through with it. You've got four kids for Christ's sake! Not that I blame you. I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off her either if I were in your shoes.
Miriam: Thank you, Pope.
Doug: I'm surprised. You're surprising me.
Pope: I'm dead now, and I can say what I want! Oh, and Doug, if you're going to have one last go before the operation wear a goddamn condom. Here, I've brought you one.
Doug: It's neon green.
Pope: It glows in the dark.
Doug: You've really turned my head around, Pope!
Pope: And for all of you horny toads watching at home, remember to always put a rainslicker on your willy. And if you do knock her up pay for the abortion. It's the gentlemanly thing to do.
Doug: Pope!
Pope: Be quiet, Lain. I'm dead now, and I can say what I want.
End
Doug: I can't wait until I'm rich and famous and the revolution comes, but what if I can't have intercourse again?
Miriam: Is something bothering you honey?
Doug: I'm worried that I won't be able to get it up again, sweetheart.
Miriam: Now you know there is no touching until after you get the vasectomy.
Doug: But what if the doctor slips?
Miriam: Don't worry, honey. I know. Let's ask the Pope what he thinks.
Doug: But he's dead!
Miriam: We'll have a seance and speak to his spirit.
Doug: Where are the kids, by the way?
Miriam: Don't you remember? They went to Disneyland with your parents for this episode. Now let's call all of our friends over and have that seance.
Miriam: Mighty Pope, come to me. We need to talk to you about Doug's sperm. Answer us pope. Answer us!
Pope: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Doug: Pope, I have a question about getting a vasectomy.
Pope: What? Who let the dogs out?
Miriam: My husband has a question for you, Pope John Paul II. He's concerned about the consequences of a vasectomy.
Pope: What? You worried you won't be able to poke this hot thing anymore?
Doug: What did you say?
Miriam: Shut up and listen, honey.
Pope: Yeah, shut up and listen. As far as I'm concerned you've played hide the salami enough for one lifetime, but since that probably won't make you feel any better I'll just tell you what a competent doctor would tell you. After your vasectomy you'll be able to resume you regular rate of sexual intercourse within a week or so. So don't worry.
Doug: Should I go through with it, Pope?
Pope: Of course you should go through with it. You've got four kids for Christ's sake! Not that I blame you. I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off her either if I were in your shoes.
Miriam: Thank you, Pope.
Doug: I'm surprised. You're surprising me.
Pope: I'm dead now, and I can say what I want! Oh, and Doug, if you're going to have one last go before the operation wear a goddamn condom. Here, I've brought you one.
Doug: It's neon green.
Pope: It glows in the dark.
Doug: You've really turned my head around, Pope!
Pope: And for all of you horny toads watching at home, remember to always put a rainslicker on your willy. And if you do knock her up pay for the abortion. It's the gentlemanly thing to do.
Doug: Pope!
Pope: Be quiet, Lain. I'm dead now, and I can say what I want.
End
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