Silly Thinking

STNews presents

“A Pope’s Funeral:


An STSpecial Report”

Here, from Vatican City, is Connie Chung.



CC: Good morning from Vatican City. This is the first of our special reports from the sight of Pope Paul II’s funeral.
Yesterday the United States delegation arrived in Rome headed by President Bush, his father The Other President Bush, and the other President Bush, Bill Clinton, along with the First Lady Laura Bush and Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice.
This is the first time an American President has ever attended a Pope’s funeral and yesterday seeing three American President’s kneeling in front of the body of the Pope was history in the making.
Our Jim Farris was there.



JF: Yes Connie, history indeed. It was indeed chilling seeing these powerful world leaders on their knee’s.



CC: Yes Jim…



JF: And Condoleeza Rice is so scary and in a veil she was absolutely frightening. Seeing her exchange small talk with Bill Clinton reminded me that this must be what hell would be like.



CC: Did you get a chance to talk any one in the party Jim?



JF: I did get to ask President Bush a question on the plane. Can we role that?




JF: Mister President, you had your points of contention with this Pope over the war in Iraq that you started with, as it turned out, phony information. Do you look back on the time the Pope lectured you about not going to war and think ‘if I only would have listened to him thousands would not be dead now?’


GB: No Jimbo I don’t I… he had disagreements with the war. I understand that. He was The Pope, a man of peace and he opposed the war. I mean… it’s… that’s his job to oppose war. He’s a man of peace and conscious.



JF: And you, Mister President?


GB: I’m… it’s. Look… I’m not… am not…Pope… I mean….



CC: Fascinating Jim. Did you get a chance to talk others members of the delegation?



JF: No Connie. It was daylight for most of the trip and most of those people shun the daylight…



CC: Well Jim…



JF: Particularly Condi. She’s scary.



CC: Thank you Jim.



JF: Connie could I say one more thing?



CC: Of course.



JF: Connie, as you know, our good friend at ABC News Peter Jennings announced he has lung cancer yesterday. And we all wish him well.



CC:…



JF: And another friend of ours, a little closer to home, ST Founder Douglas Lain is going under the knife today having major surgery and we wish him all our prayers and hopes.



CC: Yeah, sure. What’s he going in for Jim?



JF: Doug’s getting a vasectomy today and we all pray the surgeon won’t slip and cut off his Johnson. Connie.



CC: God speed Douglas. We’ll be back to cover the funeral which starts tomorrow, Friday at 10 am Rome time, that 4 am Eastern and 1 am Pacific so you folks on the west coast join us for a late night party right after Dave, Jay, or Jimmy.
That’s the Pope’s funeral not Doug Lain. Maybe they’ll finally stop having kids now.
The Lain’s not the Pope.. I mean.
From all of us here in the Vatican. See you soon.

STNEWS IS!!!!