Silly Thinking

STNews presents


Papal Election Preview:


An STSpecial Report”

Here, from Vatican City, is Connie Chung.



CC: Good morning. Tomorrow is the big day for the all new Catholic Church to start the election process that will end with a new Pope, since the old Pope died a week or so ago.
Papal observers say that the old Pope, John Paul II, will be a hard act to follow and the new Pope, who for now we can only call “The New Pope” since we don’t know his name or his pretend Pope name at this time, will have to be a strong fiscal conservative to stop the flow of red ink the Vatican is stewing in as they pay off hundreds of sexual abuse cases caused by naughty Priests in America.
Jim Farris joins me now in Vatican City. Jim, what’s going to happen here tomorrow?


JF: That’s right Connie. The College of Cardinals will commence tomorrow in up most secrecy. The voting for a new Pope is one of almost ancient ritual and one of the most sacred any Cardinal can participate in. But one of their own will become “The New Pope”. It could take hours or days or even weeks. The world will wait anxiously to see white smoke from the College’s dorm rooms. Unlike most college dorms rooms with white smoke this white smoke will mean: “Oh my God. A new Pope.” Instead of: “Oh my God, flush the grass down the toilet.” Although they might do that too.
Connie.



CC: I love Cannabis.


JF:…



CC: Jim, stay on the story. And we will cover it all. Even though it’s all done in secret.
For now, I’m Connie Chung, I love you Alice B. Toklas.

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