Silly Thinking

STNews presents


Papal Election Mass:


An STSpecial Report”

Here, from Vatican City, is Connie Chung.



CC: Good morning. At this hour, here in Vatican City, the Papal Mass For The Election of The Pope has begun. This elaborate Catholic Mass is meant to seek the Lord’s blessing on the election of the new Pope.
It is being led by German Cardinal and former “Cheers” co-star Cardinal John Ratzenberger.

Cardinal Ratzenberger will lead the faithful in prayer and, it should be remembered is also a top candidate for the office of the new Pope. Who would have guessed as we watched funny Cliff Claven on “Cheers” that we might be watching a future Pope.
Jim Farris is here in Vatican City with me. Jim.


JF: Uhh… Yes… Uhh… I… Connie, it’s not John Ratzenberger from “Cheers” but Cardinal Ratzinger, from Germany.


CC: Well at least it’s not Skippy from “Family Ties”.


JF: No.


CC: How long does this thing go on Jim?


JF: Well the mass is about two hours long, then the 115 Cardinals move into the Sistine Chapel for the deliberation and voting. They could cast their first ballots at about 4 pm, Vatican time. That’s 10 Eastern and 7 am Pacific. In the twentieth century an average Papal Conclave has lasted about three and half days.
Connie.


CC: And once they move into the chapel they are basically sequestered right Jim?


JF: Yes Connie we won’t know anything till that smoke appears, coming out of a small chimney at the chapel.


CC: You know bookies in England say that betting on the new pontiff is the biggest non sporting event they have ever made book on. And they say the heavy favorite is Cliff from “Cheers”.



JF: Connie…


CC: Not Skippy.


JF: Connie you have some bad information there….


CC: I know. I might have gone for Captain Stubbings from “The Love Boat”.



JF:


CC: He was hot in that uniform.



JF:


CC: We will be back as news breaks for now I’m Connie Chung, for Jim Farris, here in Vatican City saying I’m glad it’s not Norm.


JF: (Sigh)

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