Silly Thinking

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This is BREAKING NEWS From ST!


Pope Benedict XVI :

Here, from Vatican City, is Connie Chung.




CC: Good afternoon from the Vatican. Moments ago white smoke was seen spouting from a Vatican chimney, bells started to ring all over Rome and the Catholic Church announced a new Pope.

Pope Benedict XVI, formerly the favorite from Munich, the champion of conservative’s within the Papacy, Joseph Ratzinger of Munich is now the leader of the over 1 billion Catholics worldwide.
Jim Farris joins me now here in the Vatican.



JF: Yes Connie, Cardinal Ratzinger was a favorite going into to this College of The Cardinals, and the bookmakers in England got it right to with this new Pope being their odds on favorite. They even got the new phony Pope name right in the betting: The odds on favorite was Benedict.



CC: Jim the crowd here in the Vatican cheered and the bells tolled. I sensed some relief but maybe some disappointment as well.



JF: Possibly Connie. There are two basic factions within the church a progressive and conservative wing. Obviously this is the most conservative of conservative choices and the first German since the 11th century, and the third in the history of the Papacy. Progressive were hoping for someone a little more in touch, in their view, with the 21st century than the 11th.



CC: will we see any different views on, say, gay marriage?



JF: Oh no Connie.



CC: Damn.



JF: This new Pope will hold, probably, even stricter views on social issues than his predecessor, the much beloved John Paul II.



CC: So he’s a strict conservative?



JF: His nickname around the Vatican has been the Papal Rotwieller. Connie.



CC: Oh boy! Another ultra conservative world leader. Just what the world needs.



JF: And technically the first Pope who was a Nazi.



CC: Really?



JF:After the Nazi's took over Germany he was immediately conscripted as a Nazi and says he never went to any meetings and asked for his name to be removed from the roles. He did serve in the Nazi Army though and spent much of the war in an American POW camp.



CC: So we have an ultra conservative former Nazi Pope as the new religious leader of the Catholic Church. OK. Whatever. Thanks for joining us. I’m Connie Chung, for Jim Farris, in Vatican City where, moments ago the new Pope, Pope Benedict XVI stood on the fabled balcony here in the Vatican and waved at the faithful.

A new Pope is born.

STIS!!!