As I mentioned, Eric went out of town. And I was a bit jealous cause he has a bit more freedom than I do right now. Pretty much, aside from going to work and two lunches, I haven't been away from Dylan.

So Eric came home last night and told me a bit about the weekend (but not enough cause he's such a boy...Pixie- you must call!!!) and about how much people missed me. And as I have the stellar self esteem, I didn't really believe him at first. But when he was explaining it, and said explanation was corroborated by his brother, I started to believe it.

Then, he told me that there was a party coming up by this same group and that if I wanted to, I could go and he would stay home with Dylan. Which doesn't sound like much until you know that the party is out of town. And it would be the first time I'd be away from her for a significant amount of time (again, aside from work).

I'm torn. Part of me was all "hell yeah! it's my turn!". Especially since I'm due to go to Houston on business in March and this would be a good trial run. And again, I really haven't been out of the house for fun without Dylan. And if something went wrong, I could be home in a matter of hours.

But part of me doesn't want to leave her. I wonder if I'll really be able to let go, relax and have fun. Eric and I haven't even been out together without Dylan since she's been born.

But the longer I go without "letting go" the worse it's going to get. And I'll "forget" what I'm like socially without being "mom".

I dunno...maybe a pre-trial run with me going out for a bit at night without husband and daughter...

This shouldn't be so hard. I know that.

Ugh!