The Associated Press has gone British. Did you see this headline:

Another Scorcher for the Eastern U.S.

Everyone's crazy with the heat obviously.

The story is that we're in for yet another day in Hades, before it cools off on Thursday, when I look forward to mowing the lawn.

One of our neighbors was mowing lawn yesterday afternoon. As I remarked to Mary, I wouldn't mow when it's 94 if the grass were up to my knees. Not even if I were wearing a bathing suit, like the young lady was. I just couldn't help staring in disbelief.

Even at the best of times lawn mowing is a bore. I need a bumper sticker for my mower that says "I brake For Ferns" because when I'm trudging around the back of the lot I avoid all ferns. I'm hoping they eventually spread to fill the whole area. Ferns are much more attractive than grass.

Not that a self propelled rotary mower has a bumper. Not only don't I need a riding mower I don't own one. I've seen folks using riding mowers in yards where they could hardly turn them around. Driving doesn't appeal to me much anyway. What I need is a car the size of a riding mower.

No, what I need is for the temperature to go down.