All great truths begin as blasphemies.
George Bernard Shaw
Read/Post Comments (2)
There is nothing to read here. The content is over there, to your right.
I may, however, at some point, put something here. Some day. Eventually. No pressure.
clean and sober
Well, clean and soberish. I'm still feeling a bit light headed. And my tongue feels like it needs to be shaved but I'm blaming that on the fact that I'm out of coffee and have been drinking instant all day. See? I'm being punished for my sins.
So to any of you that received emails/IM's from me late last night, I apologize. Sincerely. Except to Jerm, because he's an ass and has already extracted retribution. But everyone else? Again, sorry. And pleasepleaseplease delete them. I'll never be famous so the blackmail idea is moot.
Onwards.
I wasn't kidding when I listed vacuuming as something I've been doing recently. We finally ditched the old Electrolux as finding bags had become impossible and it didn't work half the time. Plus, with two dogs in the house? Yeah, the world just does not contain enough lint removers.
So, we bought a new machine. A pretty machine. A pretty machine that works!
Without bags! I am pathetically still thrilled with it and wake up each morning happy to know I can vacuum again. (Shut up, my life does so have meaning!) It's sad, but whatever. Look at it! Isn't she a beaut? And the best part is my husband and I may have bonded over the buying of this. We're both gadget-lovers but I don't think he really believed me about the old cleaner not working. It finally got to the point where I had to put the handle of the Electrolux in his hand and have him try to pick up the large tuft of dog hair in the hallway. After six or seven run-bys (ok, first two won't count because he didn't actually have the vacuum turned on - surprise!- the power cord isn't just for decoration), he agreed that yes, a new machine was in order. [He received no bonus points for not putting the vacuum away and instead left it lying in the middle of the hall. Like the clump of dog hair, which he blithely stepped over as he returned to the livingroom couch. -10 points for THAT little stunt.] And so the search began (or so he believes) but it was over as soon as I saw the Dyson.
Ok, it's not cheap. And considering it's not even sold in Canada and had to be shipped here, M. had to be convinced. I was prepared. In most situations, I toss out numbers (not always valid, but a girl does what she can) and/or specs/references/reviews from his idea of trusted sources. That can't be done with vacuum cleaners, really. So I appealed to his next best sense of appreciation: porn.
ME: "It never loses suction!"
Him: "meh."
ME: "It's like.. the Jenna Jameson of vacuum cleaners."
Him: "Oh?"
ME: "Yep. And it's even pretty just to look at.. It's yell..er.. blonde!"
Him: "I'll order it in the morning."
ME: "I love you."
Him: "meh."
Heh. Ta da! My carpets have never looked better. And M. even cares.. he'll occasionally wink at the vacuum as he walks by it.
Life is good.
more later.
soundtrack: Jonny Lang - "Angel of Mercy"
So to any of you that received emails/IM's from me late last night, I apologize. Sincerely. Except to Jerm, because he's an ass and has already extracted retribution. But everyone else? Again, sorry. And pleasepleaseplease delete them. I'll never be famous so the blackmail idea is moot.
Onwards.
I wasn't kidding when I listed vacuuming as something I've been doing recently. We finally ditched the old Electrolux as finding bags had become impossible and it didn't work half the time. Plus, with two dogs in the house? Yeah, the world just does not contain enough lint removers.
So, we bought a new machine. A pretty machine. A pretty machine that works!
Without bags! I am pathetically still thrilled with it and wake up each morning happy to know I can vacuum again. (Shut up, my life does so have meaning!) It's sad, but whatever. Look at it! Isn't she a beaut? And the best part is my husband and I may have bonded over the buying of this. We're both gadget-lovers but I don't think he really believed me about the old cleaner not working. It finally got to the point where I had to put the handle of the Electrolux in his hand and have him try to pick up the large tuft of dog hair in the hallway. After six or seven run-bys (ok, first two won't count because he didn't actually have the vacuum turned on - surprise!- the power cord isn't just for decoration), he agreed that yes, a new machine was in order. [He received no bonus points for not putting the vacuum away and instead left it lying in the middle of the hall. Like the clump of dog hair, which he blithely stepped over as he returned to the livingroom couch. -10 points for THAT little stunt.] And so the search began (or so he believes) but it was over as soon as I saw the Dyson.
Ok, it's not cheap. And considering it's not even sold in Canada and had to be shipped here, M. had to be convinced. I was prepared. In most situations, I toss out numbers (not always valid, but a girl does what she can) and/or specs/references/reviews from his idea of trusted sources. That can't be done with vacuum cleaners, really. So I appealed to his next best sense of appreciation: porn.
ME: "It never loses suction!"
Him: "meh."
ME: "It's like.. the Jenna Jameson of vacuum cleaners."
Him: "Oh?"
ME: "Yep. And it's even pretty just to look at.. It's yell..er.. blonde!"
Him: "I'll order it in the morning."
ME: "I love you."
Him: "meh."
Heh. Ta da! My carpets have never looked better. And M. even cares.. he'll occasionally wink at the vacuum as he walks by it.
Life is good.
more later.
soundtrack: Jonny Lang - "Angel of Mercy"
Read/Post Comments (2)
Previous Entry :: Next Entry
Back to Top
